May 14, 2015

Elizabeth's Story: The Final Chapter

by Jessica Knoll

Campbell and I were married in the prison chapel with Jimmy, the twenty-one year old night shift guard, as our witness, and Thunder, Campbell's grizzled cell mate, as our ring bearer. For one brief moment I considered reaching out to Biz, to see if she would want to be the one to give me away. But I lost my nerve. Best to let sleeping dogs lie, don't you think?

I couldn't afford to go shopping, and the only white dresses I owned were relics from the events around my first wedding, so I wore my favorite little black cocktail dress. A high necked Proenza Schouler that tied in the back with a thick sash. Al, the art teacher's assistant, would be photographing our nuptials, and I thought it would make for a dramatic picture from behind.

Campbell was permitted to dress in street clothes too, and so he wore the suit he'd worn to court the day he was arrested. It was almost seven years old at that point, and the fit looked bulky and dated. I would have bought him a new outfit if the number in my checking account hadn't been on such a terrifying decline into double digits.

We wrote our own vows. I'm usually opposed to that degree of sentimental indulgence, but Campbell and I had earned the right to get a little sappy. I don't even think you realize how much.

Because ladies, come on, did you really think I ever bought Biz's little song and dance? The one she gave me all those years ago in college, plumping out her lower lip and begging me to go talk some sense into Bridget? You don't think I knew exactly who Bridget was? She was a carbon copy of her sister, Abby, who my brother had loved and so had I. I knew exactly what was in that drink that Bridget offered me. I slipped into the blurry, rophenol ether willingly.

"Ready, Elizabeth?"

I had to blink a few times to focus on Father Rogers, the prison's chaplain, standing before me asking if I was ready to get this show on the road.

I gave him a demure smile. "I've been waiting for this moment for seventeen years."

Father Rogers seemed pleased by this answer, and offered me his arm to take.

Seventeen years. That's how long I had been waiting. I was thirty-five on the day we got married, eighteen the day Campbell and I first met. I had been a bright eyed freshman, trying to figure out who my new Mr. Tambourine Man would be in this foreign upstate town. I know I was scornful of the blow heads at Smithson, but it wasn't because I didn't have a penchant for the powder myself. It was because they flaunted their drug use, and that was what rubbed me the wrong way. It was precisely why I didn't want to buy my stash from some student drug dealer. I didn't want everyone knowing my business. So I set out to find the direct source. 

Father Rogers elbowed the chapel door open and we waited a moment for Thunder, our ring bearer, to press play on the antique boom box stashed in the corner. Johnny Cash's I Walk the Line began to play. The acoustics were terrible.

I went to the locals' bar. Ronnie's. I knew I would find my hook up there. And from the moment I stepped inside, inhaled the damp skunk stench of sweat and beer, it was obvious who he was. Campbell stood at the head of the pool table, a cigarette loose between his lips, and he narrowed his eyes at me as he bent over the edge of the green, his movements always so smooth and feline. He sunk his shot, and the crowd cheered for him, so clearly the kingpin of this little townie universe. 

He leaned the pool stick up against the wall and came toward me. 

"Little girl, this is not The Holiday," he told me, the cigarette bobbing up and down in his mouth as he spoke. He pinched the butt between his fingers and stabbed it in the direction of the door, as if to indicate The Holiday, which everyone knew was the student bar, was that way. 

"Good," I told him. "I wasn't looking for The fucking Holiday."

Campbell exhaled a stream of smoke into my face, trying to decide what to do with me.

Campbell mouthed, Wow, as Father Rogers and I neared the alter. The last time he had seen me I'd been a wreck. But then I had realized that it was time to stop scheming, time to stop trying to get pregnant, that I was never going to be able to blackmail my father to get what I wanted. Once I stopped worrying about how I could get what I didn't have, and started thinking about how I could embrace what I did have, it was like I aged backwards by ten years.

Campbell was the love of my life, and he wasn't going to be incarcerated forever, and he certainly wasn't dead. New York State permitted conjugal visits once a month—that meant for once a month, for the next twelve years, I'd get to be with Campbell. 36 opportunities for him to slip inside of me, gasp Elizabeth like it was the first time. It wasn't enough, but it was better than continuing to screw half of New York, of fooling myself into thinking that maybe this would be the time the stars would align, and I would finally find myself pregnant. It was time to let go. Accept my circumstances and make the best of them. Marrying Campbell was the only way I could think to do that.

That was the first night I checked into Geneva on the Lake, the hotel that would later become my home away from home with Campbell. Any chance we got to steal away we did. We would fuck, drink, bitch about our lives, the boxes we had been put into by our various circumstances, and imagine our future. Already, at eighteen, I knew my parents expected me to take a certain route in life. To marry well, embrace the society life, and pop out an heir to replace my brother, Thayer. There was no way Campbell was ever going to be a part of that. 

So we started to wonder. What if we had our own money? Enough to run away with? To never have to be reliant on my parents, to live our lives as we saw fit? And so we came up with a plan....

Campbell reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a small square of paper. He smoothed out the wrinkles obscuring his words and began to speak. "Elizabeth," he began to read, "from the moment I met you I knew I had found my match."

What if, we postulated, Campbell threatened to bust all the kids who bought drugs from his go-between—the role of which was passed down to Pat Denson after our freshmen year—unless their parents agreed to pay a certain sum of money? But then we decided no. There was no way we could control for factors like parents who would refuse to comply, wanting their kids to get a taste of tough love, and at best we could collect a few thousand dollars from everyone. Not enough money to get by. 

Next we came up with the idea that I would steal back the drugs Campbell sold to Pat, and then Campbell would sell them to another buyer. This way, he'd make a twofold return on the product. That was really the reason I started sleeping with Pat—a move that unintentionally put into motion Campbell's ultimate fate. 

"For a while, I thought that the best way I could love you was to let you go. But now I know better. I can't let you go, not because I don't want to, but because I'm incapable of doing so. You are a part of me: a phantom limb that throbs when you are not around, a neuron in my brain, a chamber in my heart, pumping blood all through out my veins."

Remember how Campbell had tracked Biz down after she pocketed the package of drugs Pat tossed out his car window? Biz had agreed to meet him, to return what was rightfully Campbell's, and that was when she proposed her plan to him: help her get revenge on the girl she thought was her best friend—me—or else she would report him to the chief of police. Campbell was smart, and played along, pretending like he had no idea who I was. Later, he called me and told me what Biz was planning to do. 

"Campbell," I said, looking into his heavy gray eyes. I didn't write down my vows. I didn't need to. I had practiced saying these things to him so many times over the years that my words were burned into my brain. "Because of you, life has been harder, filled with more pain and desperation than it would have been if we had never met. And if we had never met, I never would have known that loving someone so much it hurts is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. I wouldn't trade the pain of missing you for anything in the world, because without it, I wouldn't know what it means to really live."

"What if I just go along with it?" I said to Campbell, after he had detailed Biz's plan. 

"Why the hell would you do something like that?" Campbell asked.

"Listen to me!" I said, getting excited. "She's essentially kidnapping me, right? Once she does that, you can call my father. Demand a ransom! He will pay any amount you want."

Campbell squeezed my hand as Father Rogers began to bless the rings—a brass coated set I'd found at Duane Reade for $5.99.

The plan would have worked out perfectly if only I had bothered to take into account just how disoriented I would be when I came out of my drug induced coma. I was so out of it, so freaked out even though I had known I would wake up in that basement, that I'd worked myself free and tried to escape. And then Bridget walked in. And I snapped. All before Campbell had even placed the call to my father.

Father Rogers declared us husband and wife, and I didn't even wait for him to say that Campbell could now kiss his bride. Because I could now kiss my husband. And my husband tasted like baking powder toothpaste and smelled like nerves and cheap general store body spray, and the fact that I was finally able to detect these details, after so many years, felt like a small miracle.

There had to be a way to make the best of the situation, Campbell and I decided, standing over Bridget's broken, rapidly cooling body. And finally, we figured out a Plan B: my father would pay any amount of money to protect his daughter. I had committed an atrocious crime, and that was good. The more heinous the act, the more my father would be willing to pay to make it all go away. 

The bride and groom "suite" looked like the nurse's office in high school. One sad, lumpy cot lined the wall, and a chipped metal folding chair was pushed into a corner. Campbell and I took one look at our options, and in a second he had pushed me up against the wall. We didn't need a bed, or Egyptian cotton sheets. All we needed was each other.

I was the one who moved Bridget's body. Campbell enlisted one of his closest confidantes to help me. He didn't want to have any knowledge of where the body ended up. It was already a risky plan, and the less Campbell knew, we decided, the better. 

But it was crucial that Bridget be discovered in a place that would implicate me—that was the fulcrum on which this delicate plan balanced, after all. It had to look really bad for me. If it didn't, my father would have no reason to start paying people off—people like Campbell, the detective he thought was trying to nail me to the cross.

"I don't care who has been here," Campbell said as he pushed inside of me. His fingers brushed between my legs, soft as butterfly wings. "You just pretended it was me, every time you were with someone else. I know you did."

"I did," I gasped into the crook of his neck. "I promise I did."

I didn't bank on the fact that my father would offer an even better deal to Campbell—not just money, but an opportunity to better his life. And I certainly didn't bank on the fact that Campbell would accept it. That was the most painful period in my life. Even more painful than when Campbell went to jail. At least in the case of the latter, Campbell had been forced out of my life. With the former, he had chosen it.

Though of course he came crawling back. Found me in New York. Couldn't stay away. And that was when my father not only rescinded on his offer, but placed a call to the new police chief to inform him of Campbell's extracurricular side hustle back when he worked for the department. 

You get fifteen minutes. Sometimes Campbell and I would fuck two, three times. Others, we would just lie together (I learned to bring my own clean sheets from home to drape on the floor), talking about what our lives would be like when Campbell's sentence was finally over.

And then one day, on my monthly drive to visit my new husband, I had to pull over on the side of the ride, where I threw up all over someone's fledgling tomato bush. I wiped my arm across my mouth, gave my cheek a little slap, and raced to the next exit. I drove around for a few miles until I located a CVS. There, I bought some orange juice, saltines, and a pregnancy test.

That was the first time Campbell and I didn't consummate our visit. We were too busy laughing and crying and squealing like little kid we were about to have.

- -

My father demanded a paternity test. I'd really gotten around, he reminded me not once, but twice, during our conversation. But if I could prove that Campbell was the father, then he promised he would make the call, start working his connections. My baby, his only grandson, deserved to have his father in his life.

The doctor told us to expect results on a Tuesday morning. I was so nervous I couldn't be in the house. I took the baby for a walk down to the reservoir in Central Park. It was a painfully bright day—the sun was brilliant in Brian's hair, a fire cloud surrounding his sweet, curious face. Of course I named him after Campbell, and of course I knew Campbell was the father. Campbell's sister had had bright red hair too. There was no other explanation for it.

Still, I was so nervous I had to sit down on a bench when the call came in. My father didn't even say hello. Just told me I was right. "Brian Campbell is the father of my grandson," he said.

"So does this mean"—

"I'm a man of my word, Elizabeth," he said. "I've got a lot of calls to make today. But my goal is to have that baby's father home in time for his first Christmas."

"Thank you, daddy," I gasped.

My father cleared his throat. I hadn't called him daddy since I was a little girl. "Right, well, let me get going on this, okay? Give my grandson a kiss for me."

He hung up before I had a chance to say anything else. Which was fine, because I was crying too hard to say goodbye.


_ _ 

I can assure you that the ending of this post is the very best example of art imitating real life! This was an emotional one to write. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your support over the years! I am so excited for you all to be able to read Luckiest Girl Alive—which cracked Amazon's top 100 yesterday and was featured on The Today Show this morning!—and hopefully you love the story as much as you've loved LSP.

A few ways to stay in touch with me: follow me on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook, and sign up for my mailing list which you can do by scrolling to the bottom of my website, here. I will send out emails with updates about the book, the movie, and events that may be in your area!

And on that note, I bid you all farewell. May your lives be filled with much love, sex, and pizza!

245 comments:

  1. Thanks Jessica ! I really enjoyed your stories and look forward to reading your new novel.

    I wish you much success !

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  2. I was crying too hard to say goodbye to this blog!
    :'( :'( :'(

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  3. Interesting ending, but I wonder if this was always the plan for the ending? Some things about Elizabeth knowing everything about the kidnapping and this grand plan just don't add up to previous posts. Unfortunately, I am far too lazy to look them up.This blog has always been written in a way that allowed the reader to know what the rest of the world didn't. The big secret and lies that Elizabeth told herself/the readers just doesn't make sense.
    Still, it was a solid ending that left nothing to wonder about, which is something I like.

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    1. I wondered the same thing. Especially the part about them by the lake after he found her hair and kissed her, what we thought was for the first time.

      And what about when she found that news clipping and everything? Or did all of that happen BEFORE Bridget, and we didn't know it? Did they ever come out and say it'd all happened after, or was it just something we'd assumed?

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    2. I feel like it was Elizabeth's way of saying, you (the reader) thought you knew me, but I played you, too. Like we thought she was telling us her side of the story, but in the end the story began long before we knew. This was a solid way to wrap up, I'd always wondered about Pat Denson and why she was messing with him. I think it all makes sense.

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    3. I have to agree with the original poster, this ending just didn't sit well with me. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't fit with the rest of the story in so many respects. Very disappointed.

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    4. I agree, the twist kind of doesn't fit with the rest of the story. And there's not really any mention or explanation of what was going on with William that whole time in Josie's story.. so that's kind of confusing. I really enjoyed this story but didn't care for the ending at all, it seemed rushed to me. Like maybe it needed a couple more posts to really clear everything up.

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  4. wait - why was Elizabeth giving William the type writer if she was married to Campbell?

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    1. This is actually the only thing bothering me. The rest I can accept as Elizabeth messing with us the whole time. It's just this (why is she giving him a present? What is her motivation/plan?) and her apparent dislike of her much-wanted baby in the Josie post about the typewriter. Hoping Jessica will take a moment to fill in the gaps for us.

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    2. Totally my own take, but I suspect that Elizabeth was trying to "give a typewriter" to William as a way to get to Peter and Josie. Knowing Elizabeth's character, I doubt that she'd be ok with Peter and Josie being happy together, even when she had bliss with Campbell. This may have been her way to insert herself back into their relationship and cause tension, ESPECIALLY since it happened a few days after Peter saw her crying. Elizabeth is not the type to let people see her vulnerable and get away with it, which is why she's such an amazing and unique character! Not sure if this is right, but I think its a solid guess at least!

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    3. Also, Jessica, if you're still reading this, I promise I'm not trying to make false assumptions about your characters!!! I've LOVED this blog for years, never comment, but I feel that you've written Elizabeth in a way that, even though she and I are so different, I "get" her in a way. This was just a guess!!! Thanks for all the wonderful stories and can't wait to finish your new book!

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  5. Thank you for your time and creativity in writing this blog, I'm going to miss it each Thursday.

    I feel like I'm allowed to brag about you like I know you and have a stake in your success, since I've been reading your posts since it was back at Cosmo. Can't wait to read all of your future novels, and once again, congratulations!

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    1. I am the same way!! I have been telling all my friends about this amazing writer I have been reading for a few years that now has a book. They all don't react but I'm glad someone feels the same.

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    2. Thank you, ladies! Word of mouth is hugely important so I really appreciate it!

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  7. Jessica,

    This post blew my mind. This was the farthest thing I was expecting. This was genius. I have been following you since Cosmo, and I have to say that I look forward to your posts every week - I will miss that. You have created the most memorable and complex characters. Even though Elizabeth started out as the bad guy, I really grew to root for her. I am so happy she got her happy ending too. I will most definitely be picking up your book so I can be captivated by another of your stories.

    Danielle

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    1. Thank you for reading - and hope you enjoy the book! Something tells me you might :-)

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  8. Thank you so much for the years of entertainment you've given us. I will truly miss your posts, but I look forward to all of your success and future material

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    1. Thank YOU for being so loyal and supportive!

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  9. Fantastic ending!! I've read this blog since 2005 back when it was still posted on Cosmo and followed along through the different story lines and authors. You've done the best job by far. That was the perfect ending for Elizabeth. I've already got your book and am just waiting for the perfect time to settle in and read uninterrupted- I know it will be fantastic!

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  10. So many emotions right now! Loved thin ending.. thanks Jess!

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  11. Jessica, I have been a reader since the first Josie post on Cosmo. I've never commented before, but I wanted to take the time to say thank you for sharing your talents with us. It's absolutely amazing the success you're already seeing with Luckiest Girl Alive (I can't wait to finish it!), and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog over the years.

    Best of luck with all future projects!

    Gia

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    1. I never comment on things I read either so I can relate. And it makes this comment all the more meaningful since it's out of the ordinary for you to post. Thank you!

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  12. OMG I was crying at the end of the post. I am going to miss this blog. Can't believe how much I love Elizabeth even though she was a bitch. I am a sucker dor happy enddings.

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    1. Bitches need love too! HA. Thank you for reading!

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  13. Thanks Jessica I will truly miss reading your work every week! I've been reading since the beginning at Cosmo, and I second what another reader commented- I feel like I know you enough to brag about you now! Can't wait to start your book. I'm hoping that you schedule a visit to Victoria, BC! :)

    Congratulations!

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    1. Please, brag away! :-) Can't wait for you to start the book either! xx

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  14. This was so gloriously, deliciously twisted. Phenomenal ending, so very Elizabeth. I, for one, think Elizabeth's story would be an amazing movie. Could you make that happen?

    I've been reading since the beginning of Josie's story, but have never commented before. Jessica, thank you for the entertainment and congratulations on your book. I can't wait to read it. Good luck with everything and I look forward to seeing more from you!

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    1. I concur that this would make a good movie...and I may or may NOT have someone working on that.

      Thank you for your support!

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  15. You had me in tears! Perfect way to end Elizabeth's story. Thank you for all the time and effort you put in this blog, it was truly enjoyable! Congratulations on your book's success. I look forward to reading it and more from you in the future!

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  16. Thank you for being my source of entertainment every Tuesday and Thursday for four (I can't believe it's been that long) years! I'm so happy for all your success and I'm looking forward to being a long time fan of your work. I just finished Luckiest Girl Alive in a day so it's safe to say I loved it, can't wait to read your next book!!

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    1. You are so welcome! I know four years, wow. So much has changed for me in that time period and I'm sure it has for you too.

      I LOVE hearing that people read LGA in a day. Thank you!

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  17. Crying! I am so sad that this is the end of this fantastic blog! Thank you so much for my entertainment.

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  18. I know it doesnt make sense
    I know it doesnt add up
    But I love it.
    I haven't commented before but your blog gor me through a tough time. Funny how sometimes a blog, someone's creation, can relate to your real life.
    Thank you
    i'm sitting here biting my bottom lip desperately trying not to break out into tears. Xoxo

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    1. Let it all out! Ha. Thank you for reading and I'm happy you connected to her story so deeply. xx

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  19. Ahhhh! Sitting at my desk literally in tears! This was the best blog ever.. the ending was beautiful.. I knew they HAD to end up together. Im so happy they did! Thank you for writing this. You should make this story a book as well!
    Cant wait for my book to arrive =))))

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    1. OF COURSE they did. These two twisted gorgeous freaks deserve each other.

      Can't wait for your book to arrive too!

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  20. Like many other posters, this is my first comment. I've been reading since your first Josie post on Cosmo and I have been hooked. Thank you for sharing this amazing story with us. I'm going to miss this blog so much. I can't wait to read Luckiest Girl Alive. Please come to Toronto!!

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    1. I would love to come to Toronto! We are sort of waiting to see how this month goes in terms of the book's reception and then hopefully have some more travel lined up this summer. I'll update on my website and keep everyone abreast of my movements on Twitter too.

      Thank you for reading!

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  21. thanks love this blog and bought your book, can't wait to start reading:)

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    1. Can't wait for you to start reading too :-)

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  22. I just love this.....I am going to miss reading this every week :(

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  23. I agree with some of the previous posters, disappointined with the ending. Still a lot of loose ends. The beginning of this blog said that Elizabeth said not even her baby could make her smile. Well that baby is the reason that Campbell is out of jail. Why was Elizabeth still with William if she was married to Campbell? Was it for security (money)? Why play William after she was married to Campbell and was pregnant? Why was she trying to get in his office? If she already knew that Biz and Izzy were involved then why carry on pretending to be friends? She said in a previous post that she only slept with Pat because she was worried about losing Biz. Now she says it was because she needed to steal the drugs back? She and Campbell were in on it from the beginning?

    Elizabeth has some serious self esteem issues. I read this blog from the beginning and now I wonder why. I would have moments of sympathy for Elizabeth but now after reading the ending and the lies she told I think she and Campbell are both jerks (and that is the nicest way I can say it) who deserve each other. She hurt too many people for no reason (Josie, William and gosh knows who else).

    Having said that, I guess it shows that you are a good writer if you can get people annoyed about a fictional blog.

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  24. I too have been reading since the Josie blog on Cosmo. I literally finished this final post, went into iTunes and downloaded your book. I was going to buy a hard copy, but couldn't wait. Thank you for your time and energy over the years.
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading about Ani!! Such a good book, congrats!

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    1. Ani is a great transition from Elizabeth! Thank you for the support, and happy reading!

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  25. Started reading from the first Josie post way back when. It's an impressive feat to have made it as far as you have, and I was always hooked and I'm glad I kept following you till the end.
    That being sad, this ending makes very little sense when connected to Josie's story, as well as earlier posts of Elizabeth's story. Others have mentioned it before, but if she was married to Campbell and having his child, why on earth was she still trying to contact william? I can see how she was lying to our faces about her knowledge of Biz and everyone else, but does that mean she ever did "find out" about izzy and biz and cry about it? Why on earth did she decide to take revenge on biz NOW, when it's clear Elizabeth was literally NO BETTER than biz?
    But in the end, it was a fun ride, and I'm sorry to see it end. But I can always come back and reread the fun. Thanks Jessica!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know why I keep doing this, but my post on a previous comment speculated that Josie was trying to contact William as a way to get to Josie and Peter. I doubt it had anything to do with William. She'd never be ok with them being happy. As for why she decided to take revenge on Biz later, I suspect this served several purposes for Elizabeth. First, Elizabeth needed to sabotage her relationship with Peter, even subconsciously, because she loved Campbell. Sometimes people push themselves to rock bottom (for her being poor and alone with no minions) to make themselves into the person they want to be. Second, I suspect that Abby telling her she discovered Biz/Izzy betrayed her would NEVER be ok with Elizabeth. She hates to be vulnerable, and someone noticing a weakness, even if she knew about it all along, would never be allowed to pass through. Ruining Biz and Izzy's lives would be a way for her to show strength after the humiliation of someone thinking Biz was smarter than Elizabeth. Third, Elizabeth is a control freak, but she's also alone. She needed Biz when she though Campbell left her for a job in Chicago, so she couldn't alienate her yet. When she thought she had a way out of her marriage with her dad's money intact and Campbell safely in prison waiting for her, she could remove Biz from her life. Elizabeth also has nothing to do without drama and revenge in her life. She plays these games in the way other people pursue career success. That's my take, anyway!

      Sorry to be so analytical about this, I could be COMPLETELY off base. Love this blog and its nice to have some loose ends to ponder on!

      Delete
  26. Thank you so much for an amazing ride and a great story! I really enjoyed Elizabeth's story; such a bitch but I actually was kind of rooting for her and envious of her apparent detachment.

    I do agree with others however, that although I can believe and accept that this ending was Elizabeth's way of playing us the reader, the whole timeline with William doesn't make sense, and she was always so aloof about the baby, yet she apparently yearned for a nuclear family in the traditional sense?

    I know we always knew the timeline for the blog, but I wish the ending was fleshed out into a few posts -- I feel like it was sort of rushed to try and tie up all the loose ends. That said, it's been an amazing ride, and I look forward to reading your book! I wish you all the success, Jessica!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have read your blog since day one! It is an amazing story and you are a very talented writer! Congrats on your new journey and thank you for sharing Josie and Elizabeth with us!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you so much Jessica! I love your blog and the ending was perfect. I have enjoyed your posts so much and will truly miss them! Thank you for giving us a happy ending for Elizabeth!

    And the book was amazing - finished it this morning! I will post a review on Amazon! Such a gripping, compelling story!

    Good luck with all of your endeavors. I hope to read more from you in the future!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I may have caught your review on Amazon. You identified yourself as an LSP reader, right? I read the review out loud to my agent on our car ride to Philly for an event, we both loved it!

      xx

      Delete
    2. Hey! I actually just posted the Amazon review - hope that you see it! :) you are the best!!

      Delete
  29. I have been reading your blog since the beginning. It's hard to know this is the end. I have dreaded this moment. I am currently listening to your book on Audible. Yes you are a very good writer. I have history with this blog and it's hard to be where we are. Keep up the good writing. Will definitely miss this blog and your writing here. Thanks for keeping me entertained for so many years. Waiting to see what's in store for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the support! I hope the audio book makes your commute a little more enjoyable :-)

      Delete
  30. This was AMAZING!!!!! Only wish there was just ONE more follow up post and I would've been fully satisfied. But regardless, thank you for so many years of amazing writing!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great end to the story! Gonna miss this blog. Good luck on your future writing, Jessica and thanks for the LSP run!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thursdays won't ever be the same, I agree! Thank you for reading!

      Delete
  32. Agree with some of the other commenters that the ending doesn't make sense. Love the writing, and LOVE the twist where she has been playing us, but I really don't see how it adds up.

    Plus, this whole baby storyline doesn't seem to make sense. I remember in one post where, right after she and Peter had moved in together, someone (I think it was Izzy) made a joke about turning the second bedroom into a nursery. And so Elizabeth used that room to expand the master or make a huge walk in closet or something. That does not sound like someone who desperately wanted a child...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think Elizabeth does want a child. I think she wants Campbell and a child was the ONLY way to get that with her father's contract.

      Delete


  33. Thank you Jessica for the wonderful blog posts over the years. I will really miss my Tuesdays and Thursdays fixes.

    That was a perfect last blog as Elizabeth got her happy ending although why Elizabeth wanted to be in William's office when she did is is still a mystery.

    I am just waiting for the finale of Elizabeth's story to sink in before i can start reading your new book, I know I will love it as much as your blog if not more. My only worry is that the book is 17 chapters only and I will be through reading it in no time.

    Cant wait for your future projects. All the best in your future endeavors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome. So excited for you to start the book, but I know what you mean. Sometimes you have to take a breather to digest the ending of one longstanding storyline before you can start another! xx

      Delete
  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I absolutely loved the final chapter of this! Read it last night (what a great way to end my 30th birthday evening lol), & read it again just now. What a twist! :) I've been enjoying your work since Cosmo - you are truly a talented & creative writer. I have loved and will miss all the characters who have amused, intrigued and/or appalled us at times! Buying your book this weekend and I am truly looking forward reading it! So Bravo to you, Jessica! You're phenomenal- can't wait to see what else you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy belated dirty thirty! Can't wait for you to read the book - xx

      Delete
  36. Jessica - This has been quite a journey! From Josie to Elizabeth, you're an amazing story teller and I'm so thankful for your work here. I can't believe this amazing story was something you pulled together for a blog. I can't wait to read your book!

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    ReplyDelete
  37. Replies
    1. LOLOLOL. I couldn't help it! These two deserve each other.

      Delete
  38. Jessica - I just wanted to thank you for the YEARS of amazing work you've been so kind to share with all us readers. You are such a talented writer and I feel like the luckiest girl that I stumbled upon your blog so many years ago and have been able to follow your work.

    I started reading the bedroom blog as something to pass time on the city bus on my way home from classes. As time passed, Love Sex Pizza became an afternoon refresher at work and I looked forward to those Tuesdays and Thursdays that I could slip away from reality for a few minutes. I recently stumbled upon your article entitled The Baby Checkpoint in Self and I couldn't believe that someone could so precisely put in words what I was feeling and struggling with articulating.

    I purchased your book today and can't wait to start reading. Although I'm sad this blog is ending, I'm excited for the rest of the world to get to experience your work and get in on the secret that the readers here have known all along. You are a truly special writer and I hope you feel all the love from us fans after so many years of putting it in your posts for us.

    All the best Jessica! I think you have a really bright future ahead of you and this is just the beginning. Enjoy every moment!!

    Kilby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kilby -

      Are you me? I too have been following the blog for years and years since it first started on Cosmo, right when I graduated college. It felt like the blog grew up with me, to an extent. And, when it transitioned to Elizabeth, it just kind of made sense for where I was in my career!

      After you mentioned it, I went and read the Self article. This truly does put into words exactly what I'm thinking, and being newly married how 'weird' it makes me seem to others to be ambivalent about children. But, I don't want to regret not having them because I see older, childless couples and they seem lonely!

      So, best of luck Jessica! I downloaded the book today!

      Grace

      Delete
    2. Wow, it is really touching that the SELF essay spoke to you both. That was a really emotional one for me to write but also one of my favorite things I've ever written. It makes me feel less alone when I hear others can relate.

      Thank you for the support all these years, and I hope you enjoy the book! xx

      Delete
    3. I just read the Self article and it definitely spoke to me. The only difference, is that I KNOW I never want children. Granted, even if I wanted one right now I'm not in a relationship, so it wouldn't be an ideal time to bring a tiny human into the world. I'm almost 27, I've been single for 6 years, and all of my friends are married with kids. And when I say I don't want kids, they automatically assume it's because I don't like kids. That's not it at all, I love my nephews dearly. But you wanna know what I love more? Sleep, freedom, and quiet, among other things. And the fact that I'm still single I think makes their heads want to explode. I like being alone. I do want to get married one day, though. Just no kids.

      -Charli
      Dating-and-commitment.blogspot.com

      Delete
  39. Can anyone recommend a blog similar to this? I have been hooked since the beginning!!

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    4. I loved this ending! I was so happy that her and Campbell ended up together. I know a lot of people hated Elizabeth, but I didn't. I just felt sorry for her. What a sad life she lived: in the shadow of her beloved brother, her parents never thought she would amount to anything and then acted surprised when she didn't. But what is the most sad is the fact that she truly believes that money brings you happiness. If this blog showed anything, it would be that money definitely doesn't bring you happiness. And it was always mind-blowing when she had no problem fucking up other people's lives to get what she wanted.
      Well, I'm gonna miss your post every week! I just downloaded your book and will be starting that soon! Good luck with all your future endeavors! I can't wait for the Luckiest Girl Alive movie.

      Charli
      Dating-and-commitment.blogspot.com

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  40. Yesterday was a sad and bittersweet day for me for many reasons. My reasons are probably completely irrelevant to you but here goes.. Blacklist. Vampire diaries (goodbye Nina!!! ������) and now the end of your blogging road. What am I going to do on Thursdays now?!?!

    The only consolation thus far is that I've ordered your book as I said I would and I can't wait to get my hands on it. I'm a busy mommy of two and a student in the midst of a few finals BUT I will sacrifice my sleep just to get through your book. Can't wait Jessica! I've been a fan since your Cosmo days. I happened to stumble upon Josie's story just before you transitioned here.

    I wish you luck in all your future endeavors! Not goodbye, just see you later. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vampire Diaries was a real punch to the gut, I agree!

      Thank you for the support and I hope you enjoy the book! xx

      Delete
  41. Why do you only reply to the positive comments and completely ignore anyone with constructive criticism? Every single "yay I love you and it's perfect!" comment gets a reply from you yet every single comment pointing out flaws with the ending (because there are some!) aren't even acknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been like that for a long time. A lot of bloggers can't take the criticism, or they simply choose to ignore it. In this case, it doesn't really matter what people think of her story. The blog is done, people bought the book and apparently it'll be a movie now... Personally I prefer the silence over attacks on all the "haters," which is what anyone who criticizes is considered to be now.

      Delete
  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  43. What a good ending!

    I've been following you since your Cosmo days and reading your posts has been part of my weekly rituals.

    Now I feel like a friend just said goodbye *sob..Good luck on your future projects. I can't wait to get my hands on your new book.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Happy to say I just finished Luckiest Girl Alive! Between the ending of LSP and the entire stories you created for both the blog and the novel, I just have to say I cannot wait to continue following your future endeavors and continue reading your writing!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Loved the ending because Elizabeth got her happy ending..... Yes ther are some loose ends so I hope there is a movie in the works that will tie those up for us. Or even if you moved the story to a book, I would buy it.
    Looking forward to reading your book soon.
    Luita

    ReplyDelete
  46. So once I finally came to terms with the fact that my favorite blog - ever - was over, I ordered your book and I honestly haven't been able to put it down! It's SO good! I can't wait to read everything you publish here on out! Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  47. End of an era! I've been reading since the beginning of Josie as well (actually I started when the narrator on Cosmo was K!) and I will certainly miss Tuesday's and Thursday's from now. I love the way the ending played out with Elizabeth having the ultimate laugh on us the reader. Of course she knew all along - no one could pull one over her! I didn't see it coming at all and that made it even better.

    I bought The Luckiest Girl Alive and devoured it in a day after Elizabeth's story was over. I've got to say you certainly had the bar set high with everything you said to describe it. Maybe because I was so invested in Elizabeth, I gravitated towards her story more, but I certainly enjoyed getting immersed in TiffAni's story. I can't wait for the movie! Any word on a projected release date? Also, I would love to hear if there is any word on getting Elizabeth's story turned into a movie! Although I'm sure you're ready to move on to your other ideas and get those going. Anyway, good luck and looking forward to hearing what other stories you have in the works!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Just at the airport and have just seen your book at WH Smith- purchased! X

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  50. Am I the only one having some serious withdrawal issues here??! Tuesdays and Thursday are the most difficult days of my week now. Lol But seriously....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too! I check back often, fingers crossed, hoping there will be something. :(

      Delete
    2. I seriously think I'm just going to re-read the whole blog... Lol.. serious withdrawals.. I just cant!

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