September 3, 2013

The Run Around

The trip to Nantucket started off on the wrong foot when the six seater death machine that was to take us from Boston to Nantucket gurgled and sputtered five minutes after take off, forcing the pilot to turn around and land back at Logan.

"Engine troubles," the pilot said, once we were safely on the ground.

I turned to Peter, aghast. "Engine troubles?"

Peter laughed. "Josie, he could have made the decision to keep flying. Instead he knew to turn around. That should reassure you."

Nothing about that was reassuring to me. We had to wait two hours while the engineers toiled away at the faulty gear, and I was so nervous that I knocked back two double Bloody Mary's on an empty stomach. And I'd taken an anti-anxiety pill earlier that morning. I was practically drooling on myself when we landed in Nantucket.

So yes, I decided to tag along with Peter after all. I wouldn't have gone if Peter's parents had been at the house. That definitely would be too much, too soon. But his parents had already returned to Florida (which is where they spend their winters), and the house was his for the weekend. He had invited a few college friends, all of them married, all of them with children. It had occurred to me that when we dated the first time around, I had only ever met his single friends, like Fedora Guy. But Peter was 37, so the singletons were few and far between. The majority of his friends were married with families, but Peter had never brought me around any of those people before. It made me feel good that he was doing so now, like he was taking me more seriously.

As for Grady. I had avoided his calls and texts this whole week. I know! I'm terrible. I just didn't know what to say to him. He's so hot, but I just don't think that I can hook up with someone who gets paid to wear a thong. I don't want to ghost on him, because I hate when guys do that to me, but it was such a busy week at work and I was out on Friday, and I just didn't know what to say to him. I promise I will respond to him next week. He's a nice guy at his core, and I don't want to leave him hanging.

By the time we got to Peter's house, I was feeling like Will Ferrell in that scene in Old School where he gets hit with a tranquilizer gun.

"I needz nap," I slurred to Peter as we pulled up to the house. I passed out for like three hours and when I came to, the house was alive with voices. I brushed my teeth, combed the rat's nest out of my hair, and put on some mascara.

The kitchen had been transformed since I last saw it. There were play pens, swings, toys, and babies EVERYWHERE. An older kid zipped past me, chasing a dog.

"You're up," Peter said, smiling. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "How do you feel?"

"So much better."

Peter introduced me around. There were three couples total: Jack and Reese, Ellen and Chris, and Jennifer and Rob. They all pointed out their respective children and I tried to pay attention, but all the babies looked the same to me so I just smiled and nodded and cooed how cute they were even though I felt dead inside. I am really not a baby person, or any kid under the age of 15 person. People always look at me like I'm an insane idiot when I say this, but whenever, if ever, I have kids, I would rather skip the whole baby stage and just go straight to them being teenagers. Give me a sassy mean girl, or a gentle nerd who loves his band camp, over a poopy, crying, blobity blob any day of the week.

"So what's on tap for tonight?" I asked, mentally crossing my fingers that we were going to The Lobster Trap and I could dive into one of those big red bad boys.

"This," Reese said, gesturing to the babypocalypse before us.

"We have steaks and stuff to just grill here," Peter said, off my horrified look.

For the next few hours everyone sipped wine and watched babies. Literally, you guys. Just watched them. When the kids finally went to bed a few hours later, the guys decided to go into town. That sounded like a blast to me, but Reese, who had really taken a liking to me, made a pouty face when I said I was leaving and said, "No! Stay here and drink wine with us!" It didn't even occur to me that we couldn't all go to the bars—someone had to stay and make sure the babies were okay, and naturally, the onus fell on the moms.

I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with the girls, so I agreed.

"You sure?" Peter asked, when the cabs arrived to take them to the bars.

"I'll be fine," I said, trying to convince not just him but myself. "There's really good rose here," I added.

Once the guys left, the girls all gathered on the porch. The coffee tabled was littered with wine glasses and baby monitors.

"Josie, we are so happy you are here," Reese laughed, and all the other girls nodded in agreement.

"You are?" I asked.

"Yes!" Reese said. "We do this weekend almost every year. Peter hasn't brought anyone since Elizabeth."

"Really?" I asked.

Ellen nodded. "And we've heard so much about you. We're so relieved you two are back together."

Jennifer elbowed her. "Ellen!"

"What?" Ellen shot Jennifer a look. "What's wrong with telling her that?"

Jennifer shrugged. "It's just a lot of pressure, that's all." She looked at me. "You two just started seeing each other again, right?"

"Like two weeks ago," I said. "I wouldn't say we are back together by any means."

Jennifer nodded, like her point was proven. "See what I mean? Don't go spinning this into something bigger than it is."

Reese waved her hand at Jennifer, dismissing her. "I just know Peter is ready to settle down. Get his ducks in order." She pointed at me. "You're special to him, I just know it."

It was a really nice thing to say, but it just made me really wish I had gone into town with the guys. Especially since the three of them spent the next hour discussing preschools and I had to pinch my thigh to keep from falling asleep. I asked them about their jobs, and funny thing! Not a single one of them works. When they asked me what I did and I told them I was in publishing, Reese nodded knowingly. "That's the perfect thing to play around in for a few years before you start having kids." To play around in for a few years before having kids? Was that a time machine and not a plane that Peter and I rode in earlier? I was starting to have second thoughts about coming.

I was in bed, reading Night Film (buy it now if you haven't already), when I heard the taxi pull into the driveway. A few minutes later the door creaked open. "Hey you," Peter said, sliding into bed next to me.

"How was it?"

"Fun." He took the book out of my hands and set it on the nightstand. Started kissing me.

I put my hand on his chest. "Wait."

Peter looked at me. "What?"

"I just felt kind of...out of my element tonight."

Peter sat up straight. "What happened?"

"No, no. Nothing happened. I just...well, maybe I should have gone with you. Your friends are really nice. I'm just worried I don't have a lot in common with them."

"I'm not following."

"They just talked about babies, and you settling down, and how I'm special to you and it just freaked me out. I'm a long ways off from being at that point, and I don't want to hold you back if that's where you want to be."

Peter laughed. "Josie, you're not holding me back. Trust me. I love all those girls but honestly, they're just a little bit bored with their lives and misery loves company. It's probably hard for them to see someone who's young and has a really cool career and is killing it." Now, that is my kind of pillow talk. I'm "killing" it? Oh baby, give me more.

He kissed me again, and this time I kissed him back. He swung me around so that I was on top of him, and he slipped inside of me wordlessly. Reaching up, Peter curled his fingers around the back of my neck, pulling my hair so that my head tilted back. He sat up, so that we were face to face, and held me close to him, so that even as he thrust furiously into me, I was brushing against his pelvic bone, a rush building in my stomach. When I finally released I felt a tingle in every limb, even my fingertips.

The next morning, I decided to go for a run and sweat out all the wine from the night before. Peter said that I should just make a left out of the driveway and keep going until I hit the dirt road. "Follow that until it ends," he said. "It's a mile and three quarters out, so it's a 3 and a half mile run total."

I set off. The dirt road was lined with "rustic looking" million dollar mansions, some close to the road, some set way back. There was absolutely no shade, and even though it was only ten in the morning, the sun was blazing hot. I felt great on the way out, but as soon as I turned around, my stomach decided to go into douchebag mode.

I needed a bathroom, and I needed it now. I was almost two miles from the house. Shit, shit, shit. I slowed to a walk, and looked around frantically for a covert spot in the brush. But with houses on either side of me, I was so exposed! I took a step off the road, but then I heard a car coming behind me, so I bounced back on the path and pretended like I was a power walker. The driver slowed down to wave to me. He was a sweet looking old man, but my god, did I need him to just keep on going and quit dilly dallying. I forced a smile onto my face and waved back. The second he was out of sight, my body just took over. You guys, I don't even know how to describe it. It was like my brain wasn't in control anymore and every modicum of human decency went out the window because suddenly, my running shorts were around my ankles and I was crouched down on the side of the road and it was happening. You know what I mean.

I have never felt so disgusting in my life. I sprinted off, praying none of Peter's neighbors witnessed me pooping on the side of the road like a dog. I made it back to the house in record time. Seriously, new way to shave a few seconds off your mile—soil the back of your light blue running shorts and run as fast as you can before anyone sees you!

There was an outdoor shower built into the side of the house. I didn't have a towel, I didn't have any of my toiletries, but I had to get in there and clean up before anyone saw me, namely Peter. I slipped inside, stripped down, and got under the stream of water. Nothing had ever felt more refreshing. Then I heard someone exit the back of the house.

"Josie?" It was Peter. With terrible timing.

"Yup! Just taking a shower." I tried to keep my voice breezy. Nothing to see in here! Keep moving!

Peter was at the door to the shower. I could see slivers of his face through the wood paneling. "Hey," he said. "Mind if I join you?"

Why yes, I do mind. "Um, not right now!"

Peter pulled at the door and I dove for my running shorts. I got to them in the nick of time, and flung them over the side of the shower. I heard them land in the rose beds. At some point over the weekend, I was going to have to wedge myself back there and dig them out. That would be a fun activity for later.

"Hey." Peter smiled. Pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shorts. He stepped under the stream of water with me. When he pressed me up against the wall, pinning my hands above my head, it felt so good that I almost forgot the trauma of the last twenty minutes. Almost.

The rest of the weekend was a much better. (Really, there was nowhere to go but up from there.) The group got a babysitter for Saturday night, and we all went out to a really nice dinner. There was no more talk of Peter settling down from Reese. I got the feeling Jennifer told her to put a lid on it, and for that I was immensely grateful.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I snuck out of bed in the middle of the night and dug my shorts out of the flower bed. Then I triple bagged them in plastic bags and stuffed them in the bottom of the garbage, never to be seen or heard from again.


  1. I personally like Peter but feel that he needs someone more mature and with the same wants as him. I think he is the type who wants to settle down and have a couple kids in time and its clear Josie is averse to children which is cool but she should tell him that children are not in the cards for her. Yes, I get that Josie felt uncomfortable and out of her comfort zone but sometimes you have to suck it up, how does she think Peter felt when she took him to a bar with her friends way back when? Both her and Peter need to sit down and discuss what they are looking for this time around. Peter seems to be seeking a committed relationship, Josie not so much in my opinion. I get Peter is hot but how can you have sex without foreplay so often? I guess I would need a little more, lol. I love the blog but wish that safe sex was promoted more, no way that she is having sex with condoms....Peter comes in, they kiss, talk and boom full blown sex.

    I am grossed out by Josie going to the bathroom in the bushes, TMI. As for Grady, Josie you are a writer, you should be able to communicate better than just blowing him off for over a week. I'm confused, you and Peter are spending the weekend together, seems more like a committed relationship than a fling. If you really like Peter, focus on building your relationship with him rather than playing the field.

    1. Chill out.. it's a blog. Have a little sense of humor and relax

    2. I was only stating my opinion. while I enjoy the blog, I am just sharing my point of view. I do not appreciate you telling me to have a little sense of humor and relax. the reason I was grossed out by the poop story is because I read this during my lunch hour.

    3. Agree; Anonymous # 1 needs to take her/his own advice. Everybody is entitled to an opinion; that's exactly what the comments section is slated for. Is everybody just supposed to parrot each other with some version of the same opinion? That'd just be silly - not to mention mind-numbingly *boring*. Anyhoo, regarding the content, Josie really needs to rethink dabbling with Peter again. The two of them are at *very* different points in their lives. Seems pointless to me for her to keep getting more and more involved with him when it's so obvious they want very different things in the foreseeable future. The more emotionally invested they get now, the harder it'll be to recover from the breakup later. Josie isn't the kind of girl who's easily able to keep things light; she tends to get pretty serious with whoever she's seeing. It's not going to be pretty.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    5. I, for one, enjoy the blog. So what if they seem at different parts of their lives. If they can learn compromise, sacrifice, and have love- they can make it. Who knows? I didn't want any kids, and personally (after working at a movie theatre during the horrors of Hannah Montana films) thought they were little monsters. Then I grew up some and realized that my kids didn't have to be like that lol. And the idea of procreating and bringing a life- a life that is the manifestation of your love- into this world to teach what you know is amazing. It took time, but I came around. Now it's not for everyone, obviously, but I think no one can judge someone else's life. We don't know if her thoughts on children can/will change. And if Peter's willing to wait for her for a few more years to be ready, then hey! Good for them.

  2. Loving Peter and Josie's story! Keep them together please! lol

  3. Hate the pooping part but loved the rest. Can you delve into why Josie dislikes babies/kids? At 37 Peter is looking for a wife. He isn't looking to play around. I wish Josie would hook up with Grady, So what if he's a stripper she's looking for a good time and so is he.

    1. I don't think Josie needs a reason to dislike kids. I'm also 25 and dislike them immensely also. I don't have some warped childhood trauma or unresolved issues, I just...don't like them.same way people don't like dogs. Me? I love dogs = )

  4. Yeah, that part was kinda gross...I get that 25 is young and at the point in my life, I wasn't kid crazy either but I at least was giving it some thought. And yeah, she needs to think about the fact that he is older and probably does want to settle down OR he's trying to avoid growing up by dating younger women. Who knows but while reading about the sex is sweet, they don't really do a lot of talking. I kept refreshing while at work as this keeps me sane on Tuesdays/Thursdays. :)

  5. I love that we're getting regular sex scenes again! Steamy. It's also great to see Josie out of her element with the mums, but handling it like a pro and speaking to peter about it afterwards to know where they stand. I can't wait to read the next one! Ps I have to wait an extra day for it because I live in Australia!

    1. I live in Melbourne! Moved here from Texas last year. It's beautiful. Love it.

  6. I'm loving these long posts. So happy this story is going to keep going, can't wait to find out what happens.

    On a side note - I just finished Night Film. Such a good book - it's like a vacuum that just sucks you in. I couldn't put it down!

  7. Jessica, I love your blog! I really hope Peter and Josie can build up a good relationship together and that she matures more. Forget about Grady, get on to the more mature man.

  8. Love your posts and love how real they are! Not some sugar coated "girls don't poop" kind of stuff. Keep em' coming!!

  9. The pooping part was funny. Were human, humans poop, get over it! I love this blog but not a fan of peter and Josie together

  10. I just don't think josie and peter go together. I really think their whole relationship is based off sex, besides that they don't seem like they fit in each others life. Posts that involve peter are never as interesting as other posts. Time for josie to have sum fun. And what's going on with the reality show?

  11. babies, bored housewives...? Ya, Im done with Peter. I mean if being a bored housewife is what you want to do in your late thirties, I guess that's fine but what an awful way to waste your twenties. Please don't let Josie become an old maid before her time! I feel like Peter is always trying to change her. Its really annoying. Go with Grady! Hes off-beat and gorgeous. She is twenty-five, she should have some fun, not worry about making nice with a group of Stepford Wives.

  12. I absolutely love Josie and Peter. I hope they end up together. He the man that she is truly looking for. Josie is the type who doesn't need a boy, he needs a man and Peter is exactly that! I love your blog, hope it keeps going for a while!

  13. YAY for Josie and Peter! They are the ideal couple that I love reading about! Hopefully, they stay together!

  14. Josie pooping on her run is hilarious IMHO. Just chiming in since apparently some readers were horrified. Love that we can comment anonymously again!

  15. Hilarious! Love that they're getting longer!
    I think I like Josie and Peter together, I disliked Justin, he was sucha baby!!
    And, the poop part cracked me up lololol.

  16. Love Josie and Peter - do not like Grady at all! Keep these too together plz :)

  17. I think wherever Josie goes with her story is her choice and I love the unpredictablity! I laughed out loud about the pooping and as a runner I can definitely relate! Haha keep up the great work. Can't wait until Thurs!

  18. I love Josie and Peter together! I feel like they are both, in a lot of ways, different now from than the people they used to be a year ago when they were first together. Her and Peter definitely seem more compatible this time around. I still think they have a lot of things they need to talk out though. But I really really want them to stay together! Love them! :)

  19. The pooping was hilarious but I am totally over Peter already. Too boring, even though the sex is good. Give Grady a call :)

  20. Love that Josie is thinking twice about a lot of things nowadays rather than jumping straight into them. Especially this whole Grady thing. I think the guy is really nice, but may not be the best decision for Josie. And I'm glad she's realizing that. As for Peter, love him! I think him and Josie are great together! Please keep him around!

  21. I laughed out loud at the pooping part. That's almost happened to me on a run before. Been there. My husband asked what I was laughing so hard at, and I explained it to him, and snickered too. This blog might have a male follower soon! ;)

  22. Does her poop incident remind anyone else about the movie Bridesmaids? "You're really doing it, aren't ya? You're shitting in the street!"

  23. I think almosy any runner can relate to that story. I love the blog and the fact that the writer is in charge, not us. Keep surprising us! :)

    1. Exactly! As an avid runner I can relate to Josie (gross, yes) and as an Exercise Physiologist I've studied it WAY too in depth. Mortifying, but hilarious ;)

      Rock on Josie, glad you're growing up.

  24. As a runner, can definitely relate to the poop story, no matter how gross it reads. Shit happens!

    Love this blog to death! I can't wait until Thursday's post. :)

  25. I Think Peter and Josie are okay together but I don't think they're a match made in heaven. I seems to me that their not only in different stages in their life but also are seeking different goals. If the baby belongs to Peter she definitely needs to drop him. I think she should give Grady more of a chance, especially since she is keeping her options open. Thought the poop segment was sort of funny and definitely relatable. What's the latest with Nina and Ashley by the way?

  26. Peter said he wanted a baby, just not with Elizabeth. Did he put that on the back burner? How long is he willing to put off fatherhood? It just feels like Josie and Peter are headed down the same path as before.

    And Josie was a saint to stay behind with all the bored housewives. I would have wanted to escape so quick.

  27. I wouldn't pretend to understand people who can't seem to understand kids and before I got so deep thinking about that..WHAM! I was laughing about that poop part. That goes to the list of Most Embarrassing for Josie.

  28. Why does everyone assume Peter wants kids at this moment? That's between Josie and Peter. He knows Josie isn't about having kids anytime soon, so let the guy decide if it's for him or not.I say let Josie and Peter try things again, why not? Yes there were things that didn't help the relationship last time, but what relationship is perfect? Like my sister says: sometimes there aren't problems, people create them.

    1. I don't think people are assuming he wants kids immediately. I think the issue is Josie might never wants kids or she might not want them for 5-10 years. It's just probably something they should discuss ... talking things out is healthy.

  29. This blog is so much better now than it ever was on the Cosmo site, thank you so much for continuing it. I feel that Peter and Josie want different things in life. The biggest being children, Peter wants children eventually and Josie doesn't. To me that's a huge issue and a deal breaker. I think they need to discuss this before they both get too emotially invested. Other than that, I love Peter and Josie together:)

  30. I love that someone else out there jokes around about being "dead inside" while looking at babies. People always look at me like I'm crazy when I say I don't want kids. My theory is to adopt a 13 year old when I'm older. They'll already hate the world and nobody will blame me for it and they'll be the same age as all my friends that were popping out babies in their 20s!

  31. I want to know what happened with the guy who was supposedly in the mob? That was never followed up. He just kind of fell off the map!

    1. Anthony that is. I know Josie said she would probably never see him again, but there was never an explanation, wouldn't he have tried to call?

  32. I love peter and Josie and want them together I think he brings some excitement to her life

  33. I love peter and Josie and want them together I think he brings some excitement to her life

  34. I love this blog so much. Please keep Peter and Josie together. No Grady! Josie needs a real man like Peter. Not some stripper-model-bartender Grady.

  35. When is the next chapter coming out? waiting....waiting..

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