September 26, 2013

Sweater Weather

Nina was already at the diner when I strode in, five minutes early.

"I have a massive hangover," Nina said. "So this better be good."

"I'll tell you when Ashley gets here." I opened my menu and zeroed in on the starchy section. "What did you do last night?"

"Nothing. Just went to dinner with Brad. We only split a bottle of wine."

"Nina," I said, reproachfully.

"I know!" she wailed. "It's happening. I'm turning into my mother who gets a hangover from Penne a la Vodka."

We ordered coffee while we waited for Ashley. After ten, fifteen minutes, she was still MIA.

"Her apartment is like three blocks from here," Nina whined. "I'm starving!"

Finally, I saw Ashley stroll past the window. "There she is." I nodded and Nina turned in her seat. "What is she wearing?"

It's been cool-ish in New York these last few days, but most people are still walking around in t-shirts and sandals. Ashley was wearing a full blown chunky black turtleneck.

"Someone's a little excited for fall," Nina said as Ashley sat down next to her.

"You know it's my favorite season," Ashley said, somewhat accusingly, as though Nina was a bad friend for not knowing that.

"Relax," Nina said. "You look cute. I would be sweating my balls off if I were you, but you look cute."

"Whatever, Nina," Ashley grumbled. She opened her menu and stared it down, but I got the feeling she wasn't really reading anything. Nina raised her eyebrows at me.

"Ash," I said, "you okay?"

"I told you I wasn't feeling well," Ashley said, still not taking her eyes off the menu. "But I came anyway, like I always do. Can you just get to it so I can go home and get into bed? What's the problem this time?"

Insert hissing cat noise here!

"I thought you just meant you were hungover like this one," I said, pointing to Nina. "Go home if you don't feel good. Seriously. It's not that big of a deal."

Ashley suddenly dropped the menu and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders shook, and I could see tears slipping out from underneath her fingers.

"Ashley!" Nina said, shocked. She put her arm around her and held her close. "Oh my God, you are burning up. Take this thing off."

"Stop," Ashley said, shaking her off. "I don't have anything on underneath it."

"Do you want us to go back to your apartment with you so you can change?"

Without saying a word, Ashley nodded.

Nina and I left money on the table to cover our coffee, and ushered Ashley out of the diner.

Once we were inside Ashley's apartment, Nina turned the AC on. "You need to change out of that blanket immediately."

Ashley still didn't say a word. She pulled the sweater off, revealing that she was wearing a white t-shirt underneath. "Why did you say you weren't"—I stopped when I realized what was going on. When I saw the purple bruises on Ashley's wrist, her upper arm, and most worriedly, an ugly one about the size of a thumb on her neck.

"Ashley," Nina gasped. "What happened?"

Ashley bit her lip. "We had a fight last night."

I seriously thought I would throw up right then and there. "Tom did this to you?" As soon as I said his name, a look of defiance passed over Ashley's face.

"I know how it looks," Ashley said. "But he didn't hit me. Things just got heated."

"What do you mean he didn't hit you?" Nina snapped. I know she didn't mean to come across as angry at Ashley, but I could tell that's how Ashley took it. "How do you explain this?"

"We were like, grabbing at each other," Ashley said. "I did it too! But it didn't, like, hurt me. There weren't even any marks until I woke up this morning."

"This is insane, Ashley," Nina said. "I can't believe you're making excuses for him."

"I'm not making excuses, Nina. I'm telling you what really happened. If a guy hit me, I would break up with him in a heartbeat."

"Wait," I said. "You didn't break up with him?"

"I just left," Ashley said. "We didn't break up. I just stormed out. I'm furious. He's been calling me all morning."

"What was the fight even about?"

"Thanksgiving," Ashley said. "I want him to spend it with my family and he wants me to spend it with his."

I was suddenly able to form the full picture of this Tom guy: Whisking Ashley away every weekend to the suburbs, alienating her from the people in her life, his non-existent interest in getting to know Ashley's friends. He was one of those scary-possessive guys you read about in Cosmo and Self!  He wants to alienate you from your friends and control you. And Ashley was completely under his spell.

Both Nina and I spent the next few hours trying to talk some sense into Ashley. Well, first, we tried to convince her to go to the ER but she basically laughed at us. "I had more bruises from riding the bull at Johnny Utah's last Halloween," Ashley said. Which was technically true but it just made me nervous that someone had put that much pressure on her neck—enough to bruise it that severely. What if an important vein had been crushed?

We also tried to make Ashley see that she hadn't done anything wrong, but that Tom absolutely, 100% had. "I pushed him first," Ashley said. "You don't understand. It wasn't him abusing me, it was like a couple getting into a tussle."

"Men do not get into 'tussles' with women!" Nina said, exasperated. "Don't you get that this is not normal?"

When we'd run out of steam, Ashley thanked us for our concern in the most emotionless, clinical way possible. "I know you guys are just trying to look out for me," she said. "But trust me. If it was what you think it was, I wouldn't accept that." She shrugged. She had hardened against us; I could see it in her face. We'd somehow managed to make it worse. Now we were the enemy, the ones who didn't 'get it.' Not Tom. It was terrifying to realize just how brainwashed she was.

It was dark by the time Nina and I left Ashley's apartment. We offered to stay, to just hang out and order dinner, but Ashley insisted she wanted some alone time.

"I can't fucking believe this," Nina said, once we were out on the street. It was chilly then, and I could have used Ashley's oversized sweater.

"What do we do?" I asked, helplessly. "Do we call the cops?"

Nina shook her head. "She'll just lie for him. And if he finds out...I'm scared what he'd do to her if he found out."

We walked in silence for a few blocks. "Want to get a drink somewhere?" I asked.

"For the love of God, yes," Nina said.

We ended up at a little wine bar not far from Ashley's apartment. Once we had a carafe of cabernet in front of us, Nina said, "Oh my God! So you never even told me what happened that made you call that emergency brunch."

I shook my head. "I'll tell you, but it seems ridiculously trivial compared to what we just dealt with over the last few hours."

"Give me the most trivial shit you've got," Nina said. "Anything to take my mind off of that."

I ran Nina through the last few days—from the Social Media party up until the text I'd sent Richard. At some point while I was in Ashley's apartment, Richard had texted me back that our friendship was important to him and he didn't want to lose it. 'I've been soul searching,' he wrote, 'Which is lame but is what one does when one gets fired. And maybe you're right? Maybe I just want what I can't have. If I'm not sure, I can't ask you to be sure either. There are a lot of things in my life I want to change right now.'

We agreed to grab lunch in a few weeks, once the dust had settled and it wouldn't be awkward-city for us to be alone together.

"Um," Nina said, when I finished. "You do realize who you're acting like right now, don't you?"

"Who?"

"Justin."

"Ugh," I said. "I swear that name triggers PTSD for me."

"How?" Nina asked.

"It just makes me feel pathetic," I said. "I practically begged him to be my boyfriend and then it all blew up in my face. I honestly wake up in the middle of the night, cringing at how desperate I must have seemed to him."

"Do you ever stop to think that that's why you're keeping Peter at arm's length?"

I wrinkled my nose. "No. But please, give me your thoughts, Doctor Nina."

Nina rolled her eyes at me and took a sip of her wine. "Keep being an asshole and I won't give you my diagnosis."

"I'll pay for the wine," I offered.

"That's more like it." Nina grinned. "What I was going to say before I was so rudely made fun of was this—have you ever stopped to think that you feel rejected by your first two real boyfriends? Your high school boyfriend who swiped your v-card and then broke up with you immediately, and Eric, who cheated on you. Then you have Peter and things get fuzzy, but in your head you may still feel like he chose Elizabeth over you, and then you have Justin, who you also feel rejected you. Aren't you just afraid to go all in with Peter because you're scared you're just going to get your ass handed to you again? But you also don't want him out of your life completely because deep down, so much of your self-worth is tied to having a boyfriend? You always have a boyfriend."

"God," I said. "Your version of events makes me sound like such a loser."

"Oh, the smallest violin in the world is playing for you right now," Nina said. "You've taken down some hot pieces of ass so I'm really not feeling all that bad for you."

"Well, when you put it like that." I grinned.

"I'm really serious though," Nina said. "Do you see a pattern at all there?"

"Of course I do," I said. "But what's the answer? That's part of why I'm hesitant to just lock this down with Peter. I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. Just relying on having a boyfriend to make me feel full and complete. I should be able to feel like that on my own."

"I would tell you if you were doing this because you just wanted a boyfriend. But this thing with Peter, it's special." She finished her wine. "Shit or get off the pot." She climbed off her bar stool. "Speaking of, I'm going to the bathroom."

I signaled to the bartender and he brought me the check. I left a hearty tip—I felt like I needed all the good karma I could get. It was almost 9 PM by the time Nina and I stepped out onto the street, and both of us were exhausted. We agreed to do some investigative work over the next few days and find out how best to support/get through to a friend who is in a situation like Ashley is in. It still felt weird to call it abusive—how could someone as strong and stubborn as Ash find herself with a guy like this?

As Nina tried to hail a cab for herself, I sent Peter a text, 'Hi. I miss you. Crazy day. Brunch tomorrow?' It was true—after realizing what a bad egg Ashley had found, it made me appreciate a guy like Peter even more.

Nina climbed into a cab and waved goodbye at me. "Make good choices!" she called out the window as the car pulled away.

I'm trying to.




49 comments:

  1. Well that was unexpected. Ashley is nuts when it comes to men. I hope Josie & Nina can help her in some way. Glad Josie is trying to see Peter. I can't wait for next week.

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  2. This is more like it! Real, grown up situations that require real thought and action! Yes, I know it is a made up story, but still, it is nice to see it not getting to far into fantasy land! I liked Nina's advice in regards to Peter. I like them together! I also liked that they have to step up for Ashley and see what the heck is going on with that!

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  3. I think I love the unpredictability the most now that the blog is on its own. Did NOT see that coming but I'm starting to wonder if maybe Nina and Josie need to start to limit their Ashley time. Out of all of them, she seems to be the most dependent on being with a guy and its a little...disturbing. I know you tend to become attached to people but if they aren't helping you/heading in the direction you are, keeping them around doesn't really help anyone. Nina seems like a good friend who calls Josie out on her crap. Between her and Richard (if he does become capable of being anything more than a sleazebag), those are the people she needs to be around. Thank goodness Nina told her the truth!

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  4. I always say never compare your relationship to other ones, but in this case Josie needed the wake-up call. It just shows you that other relationships are much more complicated than your own. Her fears are justifiable based on her history. You lose your virginity with someone who you trust and care about. The person then turns around and dumps you. Talk about feeling used. Then your fiance' cheats on you. Talk about feeling not good enough. Then she's insecure about Elizabeth. Justin then caves in to appease Josie and he only gets resentful in the end. Don't get me started on Richard. I wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft pole.

    It's too bad that her H.S. boyfriend set up a domino effect with Josie's future relationships. That guy has so much power over how Josie see herself. She needs to exorcise that ghost and move forward. You should always learn from your past relationships, but don't dwell on them. That's the reason why they are in the past. Peter isn't asking for her hand in marriage, the house with the white picket fence in the burbs and 2.5 children. They can be exclusive and date. They have to let the relationship evolve organically. No timelines--that just adds to pressure. Like Nina said--"Make good choices!".

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  5. I agree with the other comments. Josie is really attempting to put her big-girl pants on and I'm really liking it. She should feel lucky that she is with Peter at this point, after everything. I'm hoping their brunch goes well. Also, I'm happy to see that things are still okay between Richard and Josie.

    As for the Ashley situation, they can try and talk her out of it to the best of their abilities, but it's really up to Ashley. I hope she can really do good for herself, because this isn't a safe relationship. I was scared that she got pregnant or something!

    Keep up the great writing!

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  6. Booooo to Peter! !!!

    Fine no Richard then where's Grady!

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  7. Grady is a stripper-enough said!

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    Replies
    1. Nothing wrong with doing anything you have to do to accomplish your dream. Better than being a loser not willing to work for it.

      Delete
  8. I love this!!!! ahhh please let her and peter work out at least for a while she should at least give it a go!! I loved the convo with nina so insightful - this update made me so happy you go josie gooooo!

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  9. I have a feeling Ashley won't be around much longer. I get the best friend vibe between Josie and Nina, it's a typical best friend-ship where you can call each other out on shit without being hurtful. Ashely just seems to go for the jugular every time.
    I doubt she'll leave her boyfriend and I'm sure she'll have to choose between him and her friends.

    Peter seems like a good fit for now, but I'm not sure how it'll work out in the long run. I'm seriously hoping a new guy will show up soon OR we can hear more about Josie's career and she can be single for a while.
    I say leave the past in the past where it belongs.

    Kate may have been a little bit of an air-head at time but I still think she was a better friend than Richard ever was / could be. That guy just seems like bad news.

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  10. I always say never compare your relationship to other ones, but in this case Josie needed the wake-up call. It just shows you that other relationships are much more complicated than your own. Her fears are justifiable based on her history. You lose your virginity with someone who you trust and care about. The person then turns around and dumps you. Talk about feeling used. Then your fiance' cheats on you. Talk about feeling not good enough. Then she's insecure about Elizabeth. Justin then caves in to appease Josie and he only gets resentful in the end. Don't get me started on Richard. I wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft pole.

    It's too bad that her H.S. boyfriend set up a domino effect with Josie's future relationships. That guy has so much power over how Josie see herself. She needs to exorcise that ghost and move forward. You should always learn from your past relationships, but don't dwell on them. That's the reason why they are in the past. Peter isn't asking for her hand in marriage, the house with the white picket fence in the burbs and 2.5 children. They can be exclusive and date. They have to let the relationship evolve organically. No timelines--that just adds to pressure. Like Nina said--"Make good choices!".

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  11. I always say never compare your relationship to other ones, but in this case Josie needed the wake-up call. It just shows you that other relationships are much more complicated than your own. Her fears are justifiable based on her history. You lose your virginity with someone who you trust and care about. The person then turns around and dumps you. Talk about feeling used. Then your fiance' cheats on you. Talk about feeling not good enough. Then she's insecure about Elizabeth. Justin then caves in to appease Josie and he only gets resentful in the end. Don't get me started on Richard. I wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft pole.

    It's too bad that her H.S. boyfriend set up a domino effect with Josie's future relationships. That guy has so much power over how Josie see herself. She needs to exorcise that ghost and move forward. You should always learn from your past relationships, but don't dwell on them. That's the reason why they are in the past. Peter isn't asking for her hand in marriage, the house with the white picket fence in the burbs and 2.5 children. They can be exclusive and date. They have to let the relationship evolve organically. No timelines--that just adds to pressure. Like Nina said--"Make good choices!".

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  12. team peter. wohoo!

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  13. Well that came out of nowhere! Ashley is kind of shady.. she wants her friends to sugar coat everything for her and gets mad when they don't. Then sh*t blows up in her face and she's wondering why no one sympathizes. Like really? Come on. Put on your big girl panties and wake up.
    As for Peter, I really like him for Josie. I just feel like the timing is always going to be off. She's ready, he's not. He's ready, now she's not. It sucks and I really hoping I'm wrong. Richard is jerk and she can do so much better. If she does end up with Peter, I doubt he will beok with their "platonic but not really platonic" friendship and she's going to have to cut him out which she probably won't.. and that kids will be the next drama,

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  14. I think the relationship with Peter can work out. It is all about keeping the balance. He isn't asking for her to marry him, pop out some kids etc. He is asking that they try to cultivate a relationship together. It could be very interesting to see him helping her grow up and her keeping him fun. The comedic error factor there could be hilarious. It doesn't always have to be cheating drama to be funny.

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  15. It was a unexpected post ... but i like it !!! like i said in the last post. Peter is offering something that nobody else would. i hope that she realize that.... :)

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  16. Wow, I totally didn't see that coming. I think Ashley is so desperate for a relationship/boyfriend that she is willing to put up with Tom - she's the girl who has never had a real relationship and now that she is in it she doesn't want to lose Tom and even defends his deplorable behavior because she probably feels she can't do better. I think she should leave Tom and even though it seems like she is mad at Josie and Nina they need to be there for her because she's in a bad situation.

    I'm glad that Nina was able to talk some sense into Josie....she is acting like Justin. She needs to make a decision about Peter and stick to it. I would like Josie to be more decisive but I understand what its like to be 25. I do hope that she isn't going to stay with Peter because of what Nina said but because she truly wants to be with him. If that is the case she needs to stop trying to be friends with Richard. She probably won't though and probably will end up hooking up with him behind Peter's back in one of her weak moments. Regardless, I can't wait to read what happens next.

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  17. Peter! I can see the relationship between J and P being great! I think they will balance each other, if they allow it to happen. J pull your head out of your ass, and see what's in front of you; not behind you. Nina hit the nail of the head with this!

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  18. I agree with one of the first posters, I like the unpredictability of the posts lately. It keeps it interesting! I like not knowing what's going to happen next! So I like that nina was straight up with josie. Sometimes you need someone like that to bring you back to reality. Ashley is.......well her character is kind of...annoying, but the situation she's in is serious, so it's interesting to see where this goes.

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  19. Hmmm.... so based on some of your comments, if your friend starts getting distant and you see the tell tale signs of abuse, your response is to drop her like a bad habit??? That makes a lot of sense, alienate her so the only person she has is the scum of a boyfriend. Then when she finally does come to the realization that he's a bad egg she'll have no one to support her and help her see a way out. You guys deserve a sticker for being such good friends.

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    Replies
    1. Totally agree with you. most of these commenters sound like they have friends who don't have issues. So Ashley has issues,good for her that she has these two great friends who are there for her even when she hates them and doesn't think she needs their help. A good friend will be there for you no matter what.

      Delete
    2. Speaking as one of the posters who mentioned putting some space between Ashley and Josie, I made me statement because of the fact that this isn't the first time she's chosen a guy over her friends, gets snappy with them if they didn't agree with her, etc. Its not like Ashley isn't an adult who makes her own decisions, like sleeping with her friend's ex, etc. If someone keeps showing you that they don't want you around, believe them. Having issues is one thing but befriending someone who is clearly self-destructive is another. You can't make someone want to get help/do things differently, People DO change and not end up being friends forever. My two cents. Also....its a fictional story that ought to incite discussion but not judgment.

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  20. I have to say i love this post also. I have been reading the bedroom blog since k was the main character. I am pleased that you are keeping this going on your own with josie.

    With that said, i love this post. I was expecting ash to be pregnant also. As someone who has been in the same situation she is in now, it is easy to blame yourself or to make excuses. She needs to realize that her friends want her to be happy AND healthy.

    I am also digging the fact that josie is trying to be smart with her heart although i agree with nina that josie needs to put her past behind her. If she doesnt want peter, then she needs to quit screwing around with hIm and cut him loose. She needs to concentrate on her job and her goals before she settles down.

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  21. BLAH!!!! I HATE that Josie is going to compare. Just because Peter isn't beating the shit out of her doesn't mean she's lucky. That's a sick way to look at life. That's like saying you had a great day because you didn't get raped walking home...

    If you're unhappy in any real capacity, move on & do your own thing.

    On the other hand, be there for Ashley, but distance yourself from her once the dust settles. She's bat shit crazy & takes EVERYTHING in her life out on Josie & Nina. Time for Ashley to get her own pair of big girl pants.

    I liked the post, don't get me wrong, but the kind of people Josie is surrounded by, aside from Nina, are poisonous. They're are drama in their own way.

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  22. Wow! that was so unexpected about Ashley. I like that this was not even close to what everyone was looking forward to. Have i said lately that I love this blog? I do really love it.Keep up the good work.

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  23. Woohooo!! Thank you Miss Josie for finally starting to think like the mature 25 year old we were all hoping you had in you!! Listen to Nina and make good choices! Go get Peter!!

    I would love to see Josie actually have a healthy and steady relationship. I think it's been a while since she's had one and I for one am kind of getting frustrated with all the bad relationships that are thrown at this girl. I think Peter is in a much different mind set this time around being with Josie because, like he said, he doesn't want to play mind games with her. And I think he has a lot to offer her and can help her grow a lot. Not saying that I wouldn't enjoy a little relationship drama every once in a while, I just think Josie's had enough situations where the ENTIRE relationship becomes drama and ends. With that said, I totally enjoy reading about the drama in the other parts of her life. It's a good way to keep the other parts of Josie's life, besides her relationships, part of the blog. Like with this whole Ashley situation, now we get to hear more about her and Nina! And I like that because I've kind of missed hearing about them. Plus it's super interesting! Anyways, Jessica you already know it, but you're amazing. Loved this post and how unexpected the storyline was!! Please keep Peter and Josie together!!

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  25. I just don't like Peter. I'm guessing though that the writer will go with majority on this one and be with boring old Peter..... *sigh*

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  26. Josie likes to one up her friends with her relationships. Case in point, Ashley is in a shitty relationship with a man who abuses her but now that I think about it I got it good with Peter. I don't really want him otherwise I would've dropped Richard like a bad habit but I'll stay with him cuz Nina convinced me to and once again I have the best relationship Peter needs a mature woman who can make decisions on her own and not one that needs her friends to make her choices for her. Josie needs to grow up. Support Ashley and stop comparing yourself to her

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  27. Ashley keeps saying she pushed him first and they were getting into a tussle. But des the one with bruises on her neck, arm, and wrist, not him. And if you're going to get into a "tussle" about who spends holidays with who, then the relationship is doomed. That is too small of an issue to get into any gysical altercation over.
    But for those saying Josie should drop Ashley....really? Someone who is so clearly in a bad place, because her problems are that serious, you want to DROP her? If I had dropped my friend at the first sign of trouble with her BF, she would have been worse off than she became(the guy was a nightmare). I stood by her and helped her build the strength to leave.
    It is NEVER easy. But it is LWAYS worth it. Clearly some of you commenters have never been in that situation.

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  28. Unfortunate for Ashley's character but love the curve ball. We all just thought she was pregnant.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, this was a major curve ball. What if on top this situation, she is also pregnant? That is one thing I thought about. It would make the story even more scary & might force Nina & Josie into action. I am all for Josie & Peter! I have to get that in too.

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    2. i was thinking ashley was preggo with her wearing a sweater like she was trying to hide it.
      Renee Marie

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  29. I like the direction of this blog. It's realistic. Around 25, we start growing up though it can suck to leave your early 20s behind. I even think that long term with Peter is realistic and wouldn't be lame. Still so much drama to go on, with friends, work, life....Peter just needs to be with her and realize she's growing up and Josie needs to recognize it too.

    Also, for the author I can imagine it's more of a challenge to keep a great story going with a steady boyfriend in the picture. It's a great way to not cop out by writing about endless hookups and stretch her skills as well. Makes it more realistic for me. As much as we all love Josie, eventually this blog will come to an end after a couple years and the story ran its course, and a new one will start. Too much hook up and break up will just be a repeat of K's story!

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  30. Poor Ashley :( I feel she should try to make things work with peter it'll never work with rich because of kate and I like Peter or she needs someone completely new she needs a good relationship and deserves one

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  31. Wish this blog was 3 times a week

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  32. can you post every day?? PLEASEEE we love ur writ in!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PLEASEEE. I don't have time to read books very often, but your blog is like the perfect one-chapter-a-sitting.

      Delete
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    tatmin edebilecek düzeyde olması beklentisi var herkezde. Bir kısım kullanıcı da türk türbanlı pornolar olsun liseli pornolar olsun
    bunların yanında liseli amcık resimleride arıyorlar. Porno izle ve Porno sikiş kelimeleride çok aranan kelimelerden Porno dünyasında zevkler sınır tanımıyor özellikle türkçe porno film izleyicileri
    götten sikiş pornoları arıyor. E o kadar Porno zevkine sikişenler sizce nasıl bir fanteziye bürünsün ki.
    Tüm kullanıcılar bunlardan ziyade bilinmeyen pornoları yani x porno arayışında. Bilinen videoların sanki hepsini izledik tükettik bunlar kaldı birde değil mi.

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