September 19, 2013

Every Day I'm Hussy-ing

Walking into the Literatti offices the day after the bloodbath was like walking into a ghost town. Desks and offices that just the morning before were filled with cute girls in Banana Republic pencil skirts and guys in skinny ties were now empty and silent.

"Creepy," I muttered to myself. I made my way over to my desk and turned my computer on. It was 8:30 in the morning. I estimated I had forty-five minutes to myself before my co-workers—the few who were left—came rolling in. I felt out of control with FEELINGS like a real girl, and it's why I was there even earlier than usual. I never thought I'd become one of those 'career gals' who prioritized work above all else. I like partying and going to the gym and eating pizza with my friends so much that I never thought I'd let a job truly interfere with my 'real' life. But the very first thought that popped into my head when I woke up that morning was, 'I can't wait to get to work.' This was my 'real' life now. It was soothing to know that I had this, my job, and that I was good at it. William had told me I was indispensable to him, and I wanted to keep being indispensable. I could fuck up my love life beyond repair, but I as long as I was holding it together here, I had something solid in my life that I could be proud of. Tear, I'm growing up so fast!  

I was surprised when I heard the elevator doors ding open. Even more surprised when I saw Kate step out of them—wearing her clothes from last night. Here we go. 

"Josie!" she whisper-yelled as she scurried over to me. "I knew you'd be here."

"What are you doing?" I asked, not even bothering to hide my annoyance. Who does the walk of shame into work the day after half the office gets the heave-ho? Have some common sense! Says the girl who defiled the DVF store with her asshat co-worker at four in the morning. Kettle, I'm pot, have we met?

As Kate got closer, I realized she was upset. I snapped into Mom mode. "What happened?"

"I'm such an idiot. I somehow lost my keys last night and I just spent the last half an hour pounding on our door, but my roommate must have gone to the gym before work or something because she isn't there. I'm panicking—will you change clothes with me?"

First things first. "Did you sleep at Richard's?"

Kate groaned. "That's the other thing." But she just stopped there. You're killing me, Kate.

"Did you?" I prodded.

Kate nodded. Her cheeks flushed as she said, "But Josie, it was awful. We got there and he just suddenly changed his mind. He said he didn't want to do this anymore." 

For some reason a line from the movie Empire Records (thanks!) popped into my head: 'Shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.' In this case, it was the lack of deviant behavior that was so shocking. "So you guys didn't have sex?"

Kate shook her head. "No! He said he cared about me and he was an asshole to me before and he didn't want to do that to me again. That's bullshit, right? He's just not attracted to me." She sighed. "God, I need to lose ten pounds."

"Stop," I said. "You are gorgeous. You know you are. And actually...I think that's....kind of sweet."

"Sweet?" Kate spat.

"Yeah," I said. "He stopped it because he respects you. I don't think that's bullshit." I heard the elevator doors ding again. The office was waking up. "Come on ya little huss, let's go change before anyone sees us."

"What's a huss?" Kate asked as she followed me into the bathroom. "And do I want to be one?"

Nina, Ashley and I used to call each other 'huss' in college. Like, 'You hussing tonight?' It's similar to being on the prowl, except it isn't only applicable to hooking up. It's just about bringing it no matter where you go and what you do. You can huss at the gym, you can huss in class, you can huss on the dancefloor. Why, you can huss anywhere! (That's the sound of Dr. Seuss rolling over in his grave right now).

I don't know why we stopped, but today I was bringing back the huss! My position at Literatti had been spared and I was going to huss like I'd never hussed before to keep it that way. I was also energized by this news that Richard and Kate hadn't slept together—not because it meant there was still a chance for us, because that would be bigger disaster than Anthony Weiner's mayoral run, but because it meant that he did have a decent bone in his body, and I didn't have to stop being friends with him. Kate and Richard are the two real friends I've made since moving to the city, and they are incredibly important to me. Richard made questionable decisions when it came to his dating life, but I'd be prettyyyy hypocritical if that was the reason I decided to cut him out of my life.

I decided to just give the whole thing with Richard a few days, then text him to see how he was doing. That is, if I didn't hear from him first. Since Richard had put the kibosh on hooking up with Kate, I honestly didn't see a reason to tell her about what had happened. Maybe I really could sweep this little incident under the rug and move forward with no collateral damage? Famous last words if I ever heard them. Go easy on me, karma.

The rest of the day was spent reassigning proposals and deals. Sifting through Megan's desk to find out where she stood on certain projects. Around 1 PM, William called a meeting of the remaining staff. We'd gone from thirty people to twelve, and William, who had unofficially been in charge of the imprint, was now the official editor-in-chief. Which made me the most important assistant in the room (probably not, but this is what I told myself using my huss logic). William made a big speech about how no more major changes were coming, and everyone standing here was an integral member of the team and we needed to be giving all of ourselves, every day, and treat matters with more urgency. "There's a lack of urgency around here," he said, really driving that point home.

Here's the thing about Megan and William—Megan is hands down smarter than William. I think even he would admit that. But what William said about her is true: She's not a company person. Megan is socially awkward, and she isn't savvy like William. And charming clients and being able to read people is a huge part of our job. William also brings connections that Megan simply doesn't have because she'd prefer to bury her head in a manuscript as opposed to go out and mine for talent. Megan didn't want to play the game, and they needed someone who wanted to be out there on the field. I made a mental note of that—go to events! Talk to random strangers even though you'd rather get a Brazilian from that woman who almost maimed Nina's vagina!

I stayed in the office late—and not just to prove a point. I had about thirty things on my to do list. It was 11PM by the time I left the building and headed to Peter's. We'd texted earlier and were supposed to grab dinner, but I had to bail on that.

I almost burst into exhausted tears when I arrived at Peter's and saw that he had ordered dinner for me, from my favorite Thai place that doesn't deliver to my apartment even though I only miss the cut off by two blocks. Jerks.

"I figured you were hungry," he said. And then I really did burst into tears. On top of being physically and emotionally spent from everything that had happened at work over the last forty-eight hours, I just generally felt like a shit for making out with Richard.

"I'm sorry!" I croaked. I suffer from ugly cry face, and shielded the evidence with my hands.

"What is it?" Peter asked, kind of laughing, but kind of perplexed too. He took hold of my wrists and pulled my hands away from my face.

"No!" I said, burying my face in his chest. "I don't want you to see my face like this."

"And I don't want you to get snot on my shirt." Now he was just laughing.

I removed my face from his shirt. "I don't snot when I cry. I'm a lady."

"Okay," Peter laughed. "Josie, as much as William can be a sleazeball, he was right when he told you that you're young and that you haven't seen this kind of thing happen a million times before. You get a little jaded as you get older. It's really not that big of a deal. All your friends will be okay."

That wasn't even the tip of the iceberg, but I couldn't tell him that. Instead I just nodded. "I'm proud of you for hanging in there," Peter said. "You should be proud of yourself too."

"It isn't a reflection of my job performance," I said. "Some of the other assistants were good at their jobs too but they had to let them go because they basically eliminated their positions. I just got lucky."

"Give yourself some credit," Peter said. "They cut, what? Half the staff? They wouldn't have kept you if they didn't think you were valuable."

It was such a nice thing to say. I stood up on my tippie toes and kissed him. And like that, the Thai food was forgotten.

We stumbled down Peter's dark hallway, pulling our clothes off as we went. Peter had me on my back in bed, and his hand was on my neck. I thought he was going to squeeze, that we were going to get into some kinky stuff, but instead he just leaned over me and whispered in my ear, right as he thrust inside of me, "I thought about this all day."

Usually everything with Peter is so charged, so hurried and urgent (See? I do approach some things with urgency, William), but in that moment it was like everything slowed down, the rest of the city fell away, and it was just us. It was intimate, too intimate for me, and I tried to roll on top of him, to get on top and raunch it up. But Peter pushed back, holding me down. "I just want you like this," he said. He kissed me. "I love you like this." He pressed himself close to me, moving in slow circles, grazing against me in a way that felt so good I felt like I was melting at the seams. Peter is the only guy who can make me come without his hands.

The L word was shocking to me, but it wasn't like he said ILY for real. And I admit, the way he said it warmed me from the inside out. Everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours—all the chaos, the anger, the name calling. It was like this was a safe place from all of that. Peter would never yell at me, or try and humiliate me the way Richard did. What the hell had I been thinking? This was what I needed. Peter was who I needed.

"Are you close?" Peter brushed his lips against mine, and I nodded. I arched my back, pressing closer into him, felt Peter's eyes on me as I came. When he was sure I was done, he finally let himself give in.

Well, now I was starving. Peter heard my stomach rumble and offered to go get the food and bring it into bed. An offer I obviously accepted. I was pulling on one of Peter's t-shirts (I do not eat in the nude. Nope. Gross.) when Peter appeared in the doorway. But he wasn't holding the food. He was holding my phone.

"Who's Richard?" he asked.

Oh, shit.












75 comments:

  1. Keep it up ... i cant wait for next week. :)

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  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Do not go down this route, puh LEASE! Let his butt just be apologizing for being a tool bag and nothing more. If that knob said anything to jeopardize this, I will be PISSED! There is NO WAY I can wait until Tuesday now. LOL. I'm rooting for a simple apology and nothing more. NOTHING!

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  3. I can't wait either!!! I loved this post. Please don't make this the beginning of the end for Peter & Josie. I love them together. Team Peter all the way : ) !

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  4. LOVELOVELOVELOVE LOOOOVE. Mwuaaahhaha Karma time!

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  5. Why does Josie still want to be friends with Richard after the Hamptons and now after the premiere party? Deep down does she feel that Richard didn't hook up with Kate because of her? She needs to realize that Richard was only telling her what she wanted to hear and was never her friend. Just a guy playing a role to get laid. Peter is sweet, too sweet for Josie. This is the same girl that got all pissy that Peter spoke with his ex all night while she was sitting there, yet she can make out with Richard without any ramifications. Peter deserves the truth and needs someone who is looking to commit and have a family, not wishy washy Josie who enjoys Peter but once he's out of sight she's on to the next. Wtf? She needs to decide what she wants and stop playing with Peter's emotions. Great cliff hanger, can't wait to read what happens on Tuesday

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  6. That quote is from Empire Records :)

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  7. Oh wow this just got good, I want to know if he saw a text or like a million missed calls from Richard. Because if it was a text Peter had no right to click on it an read it... But then again I am not a fan of Peter really. #TeamRichard

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  8. Peter is BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yes lets get this moving, Richard do whatcha gotta do! Bring me my drama!!

    #TeamRichard

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  9. Such a cliff hanger!!! Omg please post over the weekend. Tuesday is too far away

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  10. all she should say is the truth "he's a coworker that just doesn't get the hint. He was fired yesterday, and now he thinks he has a shot. I got mad at him because he was a douche. why, is he flooding my phone?

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    1. Yes!! I agree! #teamPeter

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    2. Team peter all the way!

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    3. Wow shady much? That 'truth' sounds pretty selective to me. #notokay

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  11. That's what I want to know too. Was Richard calling and he was bringing her phone to her, did he see missed call(s) from Richard or did a text come through? Depending on the kind of phone she has you can see texts without actually clicking on them. So not necessarily an Oh, shit moment if it was just calls and not a text because she can simply say he was one of her co-workers who got laid off. Can't wait for Tuesday!

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  12. My texts pop up on my phone - maybe it just came & was lit up on her phone. Richard is a douche noodle. Team Peter!!!!!!

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    1. Totally using the term "douche noodle" all day today! Love it!

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  13. I just went back and read the previous Cosmo blogs. Peter was at Richard's B-day party with fedora guy. Peter told Josie that Richard likes her. Now unless Josie has never mentioned her co-worker's names, then he should know who Richard is. Maybe it's just an oversight by the author, or Peter doesn't really know. Either way, Josie should just be honest with Peter about the whole Richard situation. Technically P & J aren't exclusive or official, but actions speak louder than words. What I don't understand is that Richard is a jerk who treats women like notches on a belt. Why would she want to be friends with a guy who makes women feel like they aren't good enough to be with? Yes, Kate has self-esteem issues and it's up to her to love herself first. But this guy uses it to his advantage and that's just scummy.

    I hope Peter doesn't get angry and disrespects Josie. He has every right to be hurt, but they need to have the "talk". Open and honest communication is important for a strong and healthy relationship. P & J need to do that if they are going to work in the long run.

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    1. Nani it's a fake blog purely for entertainment value. It's funny and awkward. Stop overanalyzing it, get over yourself and just enjoy the dang blog!

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    2. It's not necessarily overanalyzing, if (in the next post) Peter asks whether or not Richard is the same Richard from work/the party, that would actually be great detail added to an already great blog. It'd be cool and make the blog more dynamic and believable-ish. Besides, it's good to keep a detailed history of character interactions.

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    3. @Anonymous #1: how about you stop being a troll and just comment on the post instead of my observations? I just happened to remember details when I read things. Is that so wrong? And I do know it's a fake blog. If this is going to be the same drama that happened over at Cosmo where to readers were more concerned about the other comments and opinions, then maybe you should sign-in with a real name instead of being "anonymous". That way at least you sound more intelligent and legitimate.

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    4. There's nothing wrong with Nani realizing that piece of information.
      I just don't understand why people need to reply harshly. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion.

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    5. Gosh, Nani you're response is overly aggressive. I respect your opinion but I don't think the original poster was trying to call you out or be malicious. They were just saying to go with the flow and not focus on small things. It's cool that you remember the small details but let's not start fighting with each other. Let's enjoy the blog that Jessica has so kindly decided to continue for us during her free time.

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    6. Not being overly aggressive here. I'm defending my right to point out a detail I thought was important to the storyline. I wasn't over-analyzing in my original point either. And telling me to get over myself is being rude. So again, "anonymous", sign-in with a real name and then I will have respect. As I stated before, readers should be commenting on the POST, not other comments and opinions.

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  14. Gaaah! Why must you leave us with these cliffhangers! LOL. I'm so anxious to find out what was on that phone! Granted, it could be a missed call, or a text that just says ”can we talk”......or it could be something that totally changes their relationship! So do we really have to wait until tuesday?!?! Sigh. Anyway, I was surprised at how it went down with kate and richard. I think most of the comments (including mine) on the last post were about how richard had acted like a total d-bag, so I like how you switched it up on us and didn't give us what we all expected, which was richard using kate, hooking up, and oh just a big mess after that. I'm glad kate didn't get used, I'm even glad richard has a heart! But with josie calling them both real good friends, I'm afraid if she doesn't tell kate what happened, she may lose her friendship. Can't wait for the next post!

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  15. First, A+ for making her a career woman. Finally smart words coming out of her mouth.

    Second, please don't let scumbag sleazeball Richard ruin things with Peter.

    Third, where are Nina and Ashley?!

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  16. I don't know why she would even want to be friends with Richard anymore, at all. I don't think he is a good friend to her- all he wants is to sabotage. Peter is NOT boring- I think he is awesome and the sex is fantastic and he cares about her- in my mind Richard needs to GTFO of her life. He cannot ruin things for Josie and Peter!! :(

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  17. please please please, I beg you Jessica, please don't let Richard ruin Peter and Josie ;n;

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  18. I like Peter a lot but maybe his and Josie's timing is off. She wants to go out and have fun like every other single 25 year old whereas Peter is looking for a stable, committed relationship. They are good together but i think they have different expectations. Josie deserves better than Richard. I don't think he was ever truly her friend, just a guy playing on her insecurities. He doesn't care for her and is way too jaded. Maybe there is someone new out there that Josie can meet that will be a better fit?

    I can't wait into Tuesday to read what happens next. I have a feeling Josie will tell Peter everything and he will be upset and rightfully so. If the shoe were on the other foot Josie would be livid. Hoping they are able to work things out or at least discuss what each is looking for.

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  19. No!!!! I love Josie and Peter, Richard is a jerk!! I love these post more and more :)

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  20. #TeamPeter for sure!! love them together!

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  21. NOOOOO!!! shit i knew this was going to happen!! she should just tell him , im all for #TEAMPETER. i dont like richard hes a jerk!
    cant wait for next week!!! <3 <3 <3

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  22. All she has to tell him is that Richard got the boot is all. Problem fixed and i mean they are friends so no biggie lol

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  23. All she has to tell him is that Richard got the boot is all. Problem fixed and i mean they are friends so no biggie lol

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  24. Bummer we have to wait till Tuesday! I think Richard is generally a sleaze, but never really liked Josie and Peter together either. I do wonder about the text or call, since I always been big on privacy so will be intrigued to see what happens next!

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  25. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I beg you, do NOT let Richard fuck this up! #TeamPeter all the way!

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  26. Holy S¤¤¤, now this all I'll be constantly thinking about till Tuesday. I am addicted. You are Seriously great at what you do.

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  27. Please oh please oh please oh please do not end Josie and Peter :( I was so upset the first time they broke up and I love them together and I love him :(

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  28. would you be billing to up the number of posts per week? the wait from thursday to tuesday is brutal :( like maybe be moday, wednesday and friday instead? :D

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  29. cannot wait till next post! !!

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  30. Booooooo..... I rooted for richard until he became a d-bag... Go away Richard....
    Now I want peter to work lol

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  31. Please don't let Peter go!! #Teampeter!!

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  32. #teamrichard all the way! Peter just does not appeal to me. He never has. I love a good bad boy. Richard is josies Mr.Big. :-)

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  33. Come on, I don't understand why some people are so against Richard. Obviously, he fucked up...quite a few times in fact. But who doesn't? Plus Peter is soo boring. He's too old for Josie. Richard and Josie are already really great friends, obviously attracted to each other, and clearly care for each other. Go for it! #TeamRichard

    Wish we didn't have to wait til Tuesday ):

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  34. #teampeter all the way!!! Please don't let Richard ruin what Josie & Peter have! :(

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  35. PETER PETER PETER Please stay with Peter! He's such a gentleman and has been making a point of being good to her!

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  36. omgosh please please PLEASE keep her and peter together! richard is a little punk!

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  37. PETER!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!! Jessica you are one of the most talented writers I've ever come across!! Please please please let Josie and Peter stay together and not let Richard get in the way!! Please!!!

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  38. I was sooooo upset the first time Josie and Peter broke up, and if Richard messes them up this time around I'll probably actually cry...

    On the bright side, thank you so much Jessica!!! I'm obsessed with this blog! I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say the wait until Tuesday is gonna feel like an eternity! I don't remember the last time I was so eager for it to be a Tuesday!

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  39. (Still) why can't it be, Richard and Josie???
    #teamrichard

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  40. I can't wait till Tuesday but please let it just be an apology and a talk, love J&P together!!

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  41. Don't let Josie mess this up. #teampeter

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  42. Everyone keeps saying Peter with Josie but Richard brings life to this blog!!! All these comments and cliffhangers all because of Richard! If he wasn't in Josies life this post would've contained sex and Thai food. How Boring. Now we got sex and drama. That's what I want! Team Richard!

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    1. I definitely agree! #TeamRichard

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  43. I really hope you post this weekend! I can't wait until Tuesday! : ) Pleaseeee!

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  44. It seems like Josie is loosing interest in Peter. I know when I'm with my bf I loOve the slow intimate sexy stuff. But seriously I hate richard sooo much. I'll say it again. Richard is a dick!!! #teampeter

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  45. Richard doesn't bring the kind of "life" into the blog that any of us would want in our real lives. He's not "drama", he's negativity and stress. No self respecting woman would be friends wth a guy whose done what he's done in the last few posts, including ALMOST sleeping with poor Kate to get Josie jealous.
    Say what you want about Peter, but given Josie's new attempts to prioritize her life (career, maturity, etc) I think he is PERFECT for her. I sure as hell would want a Peter in my life.
    They might break up again, in the next post or the next month, but as long as this blog goes, I hope for the end of it to have Peter as the "true love."
    But hey that's just my opinion.

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  46. I think that is Canon's point. This didn't real life this is entertainment. I like to be entertained by drama. Bad boys bad girls they are an important element to a great story. Everyone wants Josie to be put together and get her happy stable couple with Peter well fine but the blog will get boring. I hot one want this blog to have a long shelf life.

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    1. That's why I put out the possibility of them breaking up and getting back together throughout the blog. Honesty I don't think they would HAVE to break up for there to be drama, but to give the idea that Josie is a "average 25 year old who wants to have fun and is restless" they'd have to create some situations where she makes desicions we hate.
      I'm just saying a stupid desicion, a screwed up desicion, would be for her to pursue Richard. And If she goes back to justifying her bad desicions by blaming everyone else, I'd hate it. But it IS drama.

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  47. Anon's not Canon's. Stupid spell check!

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  48. *isn't not didn't
    *for not hot

    Note to self do not type comments on cell phone!

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