January 13, 2015

Tessa's Story

by Zahra Barnes

Jack looked up from between my legs and softly bit my thigh. I clamped a hand over my mouth, but a moan still escaped.

Is that good? he whispered.

I nodded wildly. That swirly tongue thing, I gasped. Keep doing that. Wed come back from dinner at the B&Bs restaurant and fallen into bed immediately. Well, first wed made out up against a wall. Then hed hoisted me onto the dresser and nudged my knees open so he could fit his body into that waiting space while he pulled my sweater dress over my head and kissed me all over. Then wed fallen into bed.

Jacks hands roamed, clutching my hips and bringing me deeper into his mouth until an orgasm pounded through me. I wanted to return the favor but felt like Id been lobotomized, so I lay there for a few minutes, breathless and sweaty. Finally, I sat up and pushed Jack back to check out the goods. Grants dick had truly been a magnificent work of art, but Jacks was giving it a run for its money. About seven inches long with none of the unfortunate pencil-thinness Id encountered in college, I just wanted to wrap myself around it. I know lots of women like jumbo-sized equipment, but I prefer not to fear for my life if I decide to be adventurous and try to deep-throat. Im not a boa constrictor; I cant unhinge my jaw the second a guy whips it out. Jack was perfect.

I started to lean over, but Jack sat up and kissed me, then buried his face in my hair. I just want to be inside of you, he said. I dug my fingers into his curls and kissed him fiercely, then pulled away so he could roll on a condom.

You came prepared. I arched an eyebrow at him.

Wait, is that weird? Sorry, I just figured—”

Jack, its fine. Im kidding. Put the thing on and come over here.

He did what I said, then brushed the hair from my face. It feels so good to be with you like this, he said quietly.

I know, I whispered as I leaned back and pulled him on top of me.

Tessa? He propped himself up on his elbows and hovered over me, our bodies volleying heat back and forth.

Yeah? I gazed into his mismatched eyes, memorizing the freckles that dotted his face.

I think Im falling for you.

Overwhelmed, I raised my hips and pulled him inside me. He slid in and groaned into my neck, then started to move against my body.

After he came, he headed south for another round. When I was on the brink of my third orgasm, he looked up at me.

Want me to keep going? The grin on his face could only be described as devilish.

I raised my head from the pillow. Was he joking? Yes! Please, I want it.

Im just so tired, he said with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. But I know what will give me an energy boost.

What? Just tell me, Ill do it.

If I know were going to listen to my mix on the way back, I think Id be able to do this all night. Wed listened to my music on the way up.

Fine, yes, whatever!

He laughed and went at it with renewed vigor. It was a maniacal method to ensure that we listened to his Coldplay-filled mix the next day, but it worked. That was the kind of thing that was going to get me hooked.

After we were done, Jack propped himself up on his elbow.

Well, shit, he said.

I know.

That was amazing. Ive never had sex like that before. It just feltdifferent.

I instinctively reached my hand up to hide the grin that was playing on my lips. Jack scooted over and wrapped his arms around me, and we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to a face full of sun. I slowly started to extricate myself from Jacks arms, getting almost completely untangled before he reflexively pulled me closer. I settled in and thought about the weekend wed spent at the bed and breakfast in upstate New York. Hed been right when hed said it would be all about spiked hot chocolate and cuddling. What I hadnt expected was the incredible sex. Id told Marley I thought our getaway might be too soon to do it, but when we were in the moment, I couldnt deny how right itd felt.

Wed arrived Friday afternoon. Hed cajoled me into going on an admittedly pretty hike, then wed thawed our frozen muscles in our rooms jacuzzi. Id brought a bikini for that express purpose, but it had ended up coming off. So had his trunks. After that, wed mostly stayed in our room except for venturing out for food. Wed spent that night talking until the early morning about everything possible, from our favorite pieces of art to what silly habits we wouldnt give up (According to science, sleeping with your feet outside the covers guarantees a good nights rest. Yeah, like Im going to make it that easy for the monsters, Id said).

Jack stirred and I swiped at my face, hoping I looked more tousled sex goddess than escaped prisoner who broke into a MAC store.

Jacks hand grazed my ass. Ready for round two?

Isnt it technically round four? Maybe five?

He rolled me over so we were facing each other. Ive lost count. Lets just do it again.

So we did.

An hour later, Jack and I checked out of the B&B. No doubt we were going to get caught in a snarl of terrible Sunday traffic, but I didnt totally hate the idea of being trapped in a car with him.

We parked ourselves in our seats. As soon as Jack turned on the car, he plugged in his phone and tapped the screen a few times. Coldplays The Scientist blared through the speakers.

Lovely music for our trip, he shouted over the song.

Yes, exquisite. Splendid. Absolutely sublime, I said with an eye roll as I buckled myself in.

Oh, Ive got a little thesaurus on my hands! What, you dont want me to serenade you?

Actually, I could get down with a serenade.

We were well on our way down the Taconic before Jack broached the subject of my work situation. Have you decided what your plan is about Grey & Boehm? he asked.

Completely immersing myself in something, or someone, else helped me feel like I was approaching the Grey & Boehm situation with fresh eyes. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Im going to go to Revel and meet with Marian to explain. By then, Grey & Boehm had made the move to the new office building and was officially no longer its own entity. If she doesnt believe me, Im moving on. I cant wallow forever, I said with certainty.

Jack nodded approvingly and I studied his strong profile. He clenched his jaw in that way hot guys do and a corresponding zing shot straight to my nether region. That sounds like a good idea. When are you going to talk to her?

I was thinking tomorrow. I need to figure all of this out soon, especially if Im going to need to find a new job. Theres just no point in waiting.

Jack reached a hand over and cupped my knee. Im really proud of you. I know that sounds weird, but I am.

Thank you. Its not weird, thats really sweet. Heat rose to my cheeks. I hoped Jack would chalk it up to the unseasonably hot sun beating down on the car windows. He pulled his hand back and gripped the steering wheel.

Listen, I dont know if this is the right time to bring this up, he said.

My heart plunged. Really? Was he about to tell me he had an STD? Or that he was moving somewhere far away? Abu Dhabi, perhaps? He and Grant could frolic in the sand together and talk about the intricacies of my vagina.

Whats up?

You know how we talked about Quinn? Over dinner on our final night at the B&B, wed delved into the ex conversation. Id told him what had happened with Grant and hed divulged the breakdown of his relationship with Quinn, his college sweetheart. They'd ended things almost a year prior to our first date.

Yeah? My voice squeaked a little. I cleared my throat. Sure. What about her?

Id always been worried it would take me forever to get over her, or to feel the same way about someone else. I guess I felt kind of broken. But I could really see us, you and me I mean, going somewhere good. Becoming something good, rather.

I sank into my seat in relief, reveling in the soreness of my muscles, delicious evidence of what wed been up to all weekend.

It was my turn to reach out and rub his denim-clad thigh. So can I, I responded.

At that moment, my phone buzzed with a text from Marley.

How goes it? Text me so I know Jack hasnt gone psycho and hacked you into pieces. Didnt you see The Shining? Winter getaways with men named Jack are dangerous. Marley was so special, in both a sweet way and a touched in the head way.

Seriously amazing! I followed that up with heart-eyed emoji and an eggplant one alongside it.

Get it!!! Come over tomorrow to spill, she wrote back.

When Jack pulled up to my apartment, he hopped out and got my bag even though I protested. My street was one-way and the drivers were rabid when it came to people blocking the flow of traffic.

The coast is clear, its fine! he said. We snuck a few extra kisses on my stoop until someone behind the car started leaning on his horn.

Jack pulled away and tugged on the sleeve of my puffer coat. What are you doing tomorrow night?

Telling Marley all about what just happened.

Of course, how could I not have guessed. Talk me up. Okay, the night after that, let me make you dinner at my place. I want to hear about what goes down tomorrow in person.

You really know how to woo a girl.

He smiled and kissed my mouth, quickly followed by my forehead and my nose. That was new. Then he ran to the car to avoid getting rammed by the livid, red-faced man whose way he was in.

I got up to my apartment and unlocked the door. Again, Celine was gone. I didnt even need two full hands to count how many times Id caught more than a glimpse of her in the past month. Whenever I saw her, she said how busy she was with her fashion line or that she was off to some cool event. I missed her bubbly Frenchness filling every corner of our apartment, but I loved having the place to myself.

I got ready for bed then stood in front of my closet to figure out my power outfit for the next day. Better then than in the morning, when indecision would only fuel my uncertainty about what I was going to do. After half an hour of raiding my closet, distressed by its lack of kick-ass clothing worthy of Olivia Pope, I decided on a serious black sheath with heels. I would freeze even under my coat, but at least Id look professional doing it.

I turned to my dresser to choose my accessories. I needed something simple. Strong. Classic. Studs would do the trick, as would the Bulova watch I so rarely wore. My mom had gotten it for me at a vintage store as my graduation present. I was astonished that no one had snatched it up before shed gotten to the pretty, diamond-speckled thing. It was delicate and worth so much more than anything else I owned, so I only wore it on special occasions.

After looking through my dressers contents once, I couldnt find it. My dresser was crammed with haphazard cosmetics and jewelry, so I assumed Id just missed it and started again. Still no luck. I took everything off the surface one by one, refusing to believe that this was anything more than my eyes playing tricks on me. This is like when Izzie had that brain tumor on Greys and couldnt see the scissors right in front of her, I thought to myself.

Even though it was absurd, that was my first instinct: that a dreadful illness had to be behind me not seeing the watch in its velvet case. It definitely wasnt that I lost it. Nope. My mind wouldnt process the thought. When I still couldnt find it after tearing the rest of my room apart, it occurred to me that I must have left it behind at Grants. I was annoyed that now Id have to breach the silence that had been helping me move past our breakup, but I fired off a polite email asking him if hed seen it among his things before he left. 

I knew Id feel somewhat naked the next day at Revel, no matter how well I was dressed. As fragile as it was, the watch felt like armor every time I wore it. I sorely needed some to confront Marians blistering rage. Her fury was unparalleled. Once, Id forgotten to email her about a minor call shed missed until the next day. Shed glared at me and clutched the glass in her hand so hard it had cracked. Youve got everything you need, I told myself. If Marian demanded evidence that Liv was lying and I was telling the truth, well, I had the recording. My dad was right. I wasnt going to let Liv steamroll me because of an unfortunate family situation. It was going to be next to impossible to see her backstabbing face without slapping it. My anger gathered steam and I realized the next day might be even more explosive than the sex Id just had. I had to keep calm, but Liv and Marian both had volatile personalities.

I checked my phone, hoping Grant had seen my message and responded instantly. Nothing. I reassured myself that the watch was safely at his place, hidden amongst the clutter and left behind in my rush to leave. I put everything back on my dresser then got into bed, tossing and turning before finally giving into restless dreams of snakes and gnashing teeth.


  1. Celine took her watch. That girl is more than a little bit off.

  2. Weird coincidence: I "lost" my vintage Bulova (mine didn't have diamonds, though, sadface) in a group housing situation after college. A roommate's girlfriend took it, may she and (probably) Celine have all the bad stolen watch karma in the world.

  3. So, Celine stole it. Or It'll be changed to something else because everyone will be saying she stole it. Lol

  4. Chris - @nylonlover69 on IG/TwitterJanuary 13, 2015 at 4:21 PM

    An eggplant emoji?

    1. it represents a penis in emoji

  5. I love Jack! Tessa and Jack are wonderful together!

  6. Jack is good for Tessa! I was worried that he was going to spill some bad news about Quinn but I'm SO relieved he didn't!!

  7. I don't really get the Jack thing, seems so fake all of a sudden the first guy she dates us the one she's falling for. However it does seem like he is expressing more

  8. Zahra, I adore your writing, so please don't take this as negative criticism - but can you please stop leaving us with cliffhangers? You didn't at the beginning and it's so much more wonderful to have a post where something real happens than just buildup. We love your content, and once a week isn't enough for cliffhangers!!! Xxx

  9. Sorry, I'm a little impatient. Is there a new post this week or nah?

    1. Haha I was wondering the same thing!

    2. It's up! Go get your fix! My fault for forgetting to schedule it. Posted it as soon as I got home.

  10. I have been F5-ing for half an hour now... what's up with the new post?? Yes, another impatient reader here..sorry!

  11. I'm with you guys. .where oh where is today's post

  12. I'm guessing no post because yesterday was a holiday. And since they don't post on Mondays, they'll take their holiday on the days they do post?

    1. Maybe, but they're both usually pretty good about making that clear in the previous week's post.

    2. It's up! Was my fault it's late! Read my note about why it was late.

  13. they usually make a point of reminding us that there won't be a new post due to a holiday though...and it doesn't look like they did this time.


    1. There is, there is! Read my note about why it was late.

  14. No post cuz of yesterday's holiday? Whatta crock! Is EVERYONE afraid of working too hard these days?

    1. No one I know! And least of all Zahra. Maybe you need a new crew? I ran out and forgot to schedule the post and was not near a computer for the last few hours. Sorry for the confusion!

  15. I feel like they would've announced it if they weren't posting cause of the holiday. I'm sure she's just running late!

    1. It was me who was running late. Well, not exactly running late, just forgot to schedule it and then was out, without access to a computer for the last few hours. My bad!

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