July 29, 2014

Tessa's Story

by Zahra Barnes

Stunned, I blinked at Grant’s phone in disbelief, my dinner rising in my throat. I tried to reread the messages, but the screen was shaking. My hand was trembling too much. I gripped the phone with both hands and focused on the words in front of me.

Sophie: When can I see you?
Grant: I told you, it was a mistake. It’s never going to happen again. Please stop texting me.
Sophie: If you say so. When your ready for round two, you know where to find me...

Sophie worked on Grant’s floor. I’d had a funny feeling about her ever since their company holiday party, when she’d looked me up and down with an amused “is he seriously dating her?” smile on her face. Something about her jangled my intuition, but I knew Grant would never do anything. Or I thought I did. If he was going to cheat on me, couldn’t he at least do it with a girl who knew the difference between “your” and “you’re”?

Grant walked into the room with a festive smile, two glasses of red wine in hand. His eyes darted from my expression to his phone, and in that instant, he knew. He paused, his thought process playing out on his face. He had no idea how to approach this.

“Tessa—“

“What the fuck is this?” I held up his phone. I felt numb, like my insides had been cauterized. I was eerily serene. Openly Angry Tessa would have been much less frightening than Calmly Angry Tessa. It’s like comparing someone who’s mad you ate her leftovers to someone who qualifies for Snapped.

“It’s not what it looks like—“

“Really? What is it, then?” I let the phone slip through my fingers, suddenly so disgusted I didn’t want to be in contact with anything he’d ever touched. The clatter of it hitting the floor gave me a fleeting burst of satisfaction.

“I’m sorry,” he started, chagrined. He took a step towards me and I immediately moved back, bumping into a box filled with books. I looked around and got the insane urge to laugh at how absurd this was. We were surrounded by boxes, having just moved into our new apartment two days earlier. We were supposed to be starting our life together, not destroying it.

“It didn’t mean anything.”

“What happened? And don’t you dare lie to me.”

“It was just one time.” His voice cracked. “I swear to you.”

“Grant. What. Happened.” My tone was icy, and I could see him mentally calculating the best way to answer. That only pissed me off more.

“It was at the conference in DC last month,” he said, forcing himself to maintain eye contact. He’d been gone for a week. I remembered texting him that I couldn’t wait to see him again, and my stomach roiled. “Everyone got drunk, and I missed you—“

“You missed me, so you had sex with someone else? That’s a strange way to show it.” I couldn’t help interrupting him. It was like my brain wasn’t connected to my mouth anymore, so words were just spilling out of me without my permission.

“I didn’t have sex with her! But yes, Tessa, I missed you. I barely see you anymore. You’re always at work, or running around doing things for Marian. I guess I felt like I was losing you.”

“Are you that desperate to make this okay that you’re using my work as an excuse?” My fury gave way to incredulity. This was my fault now?

“Of course not!” He finally set the glasses on top of a box. Before I discovered the texts, we were about to toast to our fully unpacked bedroom. The glasses mocked me from their perch. “You know I’m proud of your work, but there needs to be a balance. I felt like I was the one doing all the supporting, but I didn’t have anyone to turn to when I was stressed, or even when something good happened.”

“That’s absolutely not true! I’ve always cared about what’s happening with you, both at work and otherwise. I can’t believe you’re saying this.”

He shifted his weight, and I could tell he was debating whether or not to say what came next. He decided to make his point. “You didn’t even ask me how my presentation went last week,” he said softly.

I instinctively opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He was right. I had forgotten that the deadline for the biggest presentation of his career got moved up. I’d been even more slammed at Grey & Boehm than usual. I thought Liv would reduce some of my workload, but I neglected to factor in the learning curve. Between correcting her mistakes and the frenzy of moving, I never asked him how the meeting or subsequent talk with his bosses went. Quickly flooded with self-doubt, a montage of all the times I bailed early or canceled dates played in my mind’s eye. I was at a loss, only then realizing how much it affected him. But then I got a flashback to Sophie’s smug smirk and any empathy that was edging its way in evaporated.

“I…I got it. The promotion, and the raise.” It wasn’t unexpected for him to blurt things out when he was nervous, but this was just insulting.

I glared at him, and he actually withered beneath my gaze. “Do you really think I care? Grant, if you don’t tell me what you did with her, I’m leaving right now.”

“We didn’t have sex,” he said haltingly, his face red. “But we…did everything else.”

My hands tingled, which always happened when I got angry. “What do you mean? What exactly did you do?” I felt a preemptive stab of pain. I hated myself for asking, but I needed to know.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice trailed off feebly. He must have realized how stupid that sounded, given the circumstances.

I stared at his face, unable to speak because I was channeling all my energy into not hitting him. He eyed my clenched fists nervously and started talking.

“Like I said, we got drunk. I was lonely, and she was there.” He stopped and pursed his lips in a tight line, probably hoping he would be absolved of responsibility if he couldn’t physically say the words.

“And? Seriously, Grant, tell me what happened.”

“We were at the hotel bar. Everyone else left and she and I were just talking. We decided to call it a night, but our rooms were on the same floor, so we got off the elevator together. We kissed outside her room and I guess one thing led to another. Tessa, it was so stupid. I was so drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. I stopped it before we had sex.”

“Aw, really? You shouldn’t have.” My sarcasm was out in full force. I sank down, tuned him out, and curled into myself. I felt like I was being buffeted around by waves of warring emotions. I was drowning. It happened a month ago, and everything had been fine after that. I’d kissed him after that. I’d whispered to him, as he was inside me with the same penis another girl had touched, that I loved him. He’d laughed with me, rubbed my back, gazed into my eyes without a hint of guilt. I felt completely unmoored. How did I not realize something was different? How could I not know?

I met his eyes. “Was she better than me? Was it worth it?”

“Of course not! I don’t think about her at all. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t know what else to say. Please forgive me.”

“So, you thought the smart thing to do would be to cheat on me and exchange texts with this girl about it.” I couldn’t say her name. “And then ask me to go through your messages to get the landlord’s phone number.” Part of me was furious with him for his obvious stupidity. I wouldn’t have found out if he had just done it himself.  

“I completely forgot those texts existed. I really just made myself forget it ever happened at all.”

My face crumpled, but I wasn’t going to let a tear fall in front of him if I could help it. He rushed over to me. He never could handle seeing me upset. I scrabbled backwards on my hands and feet.

“Don’t touch me! Seriously, do not come near me right now.”

Grant dropped to his knees and tears started leaking from the corners of his eyes. My mind raced in the silence. I always thought I would never get cheated on. Not because I was some Victoria’s Secret model-looking person who also happened to be brilliant, funny, and nurse sick kittens back to health at animal shelters. I didn’t think a guy would be crazy to cheat on me because I was so amazing. I just thought I’d never choose someone who was truly capable of it. Apparently, I thought very wrong.

He acted so normal after it happened. That was the scariest part. He didn’t fly home immediately, overcome with remorse. He didn’t get blasted one night and confess, begging me to forgive him. He didn’t give himself away at all.

“What?” he asked.

I realized I had been talking to myself quietly. “You acted completely normal. How could you do that? How could you look at me every day?”

“I wanted to tell you, believe me, I did. But I knew that would have been more about relieving my guilt. It would have made me feel better while just hurting you, so I didn’t.” There were tear tracks on his cheeks, but I noted that his eyes were dry again.

Sitting there with him, I was suddenly overcome with the panicked sensation that the walls were closing in on me. I felt like a crazed, wounded animal who would chew off her own leg to get out of a trap. I staggered up and into the bathroom across the hall, locking myself in. I needed to think.

Up until then, I was certain I was going to marry Grant. We just signed a year-long lease together. My family loved him. Embarrassment swelled inside me, quickly morphing into full-blown humiliation. What was everyone going to think? 

He knocked on the door. “Tessa?” He was crying again.

“I can’t talk to you right now.”

He paused. “Is it okay if I just wait here, then? Until you’re ready to come out?”

I didn’t respond, and I heard him settle on the other side of the door.

Trying to collect myself, I rested my cheek against the cool tile of the walls. It was just one time, I thought frantically. Maybe I didn’t need to tell anyone. Maybe I could just forgive and forget. Or what if I hooked up with someone as a one-off, so then we’d be even? Like in Greek, when Casey had sex with Cappie after Evan cheated on her, I remembered triumphantly. Thanks to a slightly bewildering crush on Rusty Cartwright, I’d been watching the show recently on Netflix. But I knew real life didn’t work like that. I didn’t want anyone else. I only wanted Grant, and I was ashamed when I realized his cheating didn’t immediately obliterate my feelings.

I sat in the bathroom for hours, my emotions fluctuating wildly between rage, mortification, devastation, and disbelief. Finally, more because I was sick of staring at the stupid toilet than anything else, I opened the door. Grant was sleeping propped up against the wall. Whenever he went through something emotionally difficult, he always fell asleep after, like his mind was forcing him to take a time-out so it could heal.  

I tiptoed past him and into the bedroom, where I quickly stuffed some clothes in a bag. I trod lightly on my way out, avoiding the mother of all creaky floorboards. With a pang, I remembered the haunted house jokes we’d already cracked about it.

In the cab, I focused on details. If I let what just happened hit me, I’d lose it. I texted Marley saying I was on my way and I’d explain when I got there, then turned off my phone. I didn’t want to be tempted to answer when Grant inevitably woke up and freaked out. If Marley wasn’t home, I decided, I’d sit on her stoop and wait.

Thankfully, Marley buzzed me up as soon as I got there. I raised my hand to knock once I was in front of her door, but she swung it open before I could. Her worried face underneath that reliably disheveled topknot finally made my ice queen façade crumble. I dissolved onto her couch, crying so hard I was almost choking with each inhale. She bundled me in her arms and held me until I had to run to the bathroom to throw up, sick from all the sobbing. Goddammit, my toothbrush, I thought, realizing I’d left it behind. I swigged some mouthwash instead. When I went back to the living room, Marley had water and rosemary crackers, the closest thing she had to saltines, waiting. I chugged the entire glass and set it down shakily.

“What happened? Grant’s called me like ten times.” She gestured to her phone on the table. I eyed it warily, and as if on cue, it lit up and started vibrating.

“Oh God, please don’t answer.”

“You know I won’t. But what happened? Tessa, you’re scaring me.”

I focused my eyes on the crackers as I said it, not wanting to see her reaction. “Grant slept with someone. Some girl he works with.” I felt a flash of hot anger at Sophie, but I knew it would pass. She wasn’t my boyfriend. She’d made no promises to me.

“No! Are you serious?” I shot a look at Marley’s face and she was fuming. Her anger fueled my own, and it all spilled out.

I explained how I discovered the texts and everything that had come after. I hadn’t explicitly told my friends the depth of my feelings for Grant. I guess I always subconsciously felt like it would jinx our relationship. Still, I’d let things slip to Marley, like how my ovaries screamed when I saw him playing with his baby niece, and that I saw moving in together kind of like being engaged to get engaged. She knew how I really felt.

“Mar, what do I do?” I ran a hand through my hair, or tried to, anyway. I worked my fingers through the tangles and realized how crazy I looked. I hiccupped a laugh, confronted again with the ludicrousness of the night.

“You don’t have to decide now.” She reached out and hugged me. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

Hit by a sudden wall of exhaustion, I was finally ready to go to bed. Marley big spooned me the entire night, but it only made me feel worse. I’d wake with a start from fitful snatches of sleep, thinking Grant’s arms were around me, reassured it had been a nightmare. Then it would come rushing back, and I’d relive it all over again. The worst part was that I’d always gone to Grant with my hurt. What was I supposed to do when he was the one inflicting the pain?

The next morning, the idea of going to work was unbearable. Marley offered to stay with me, but I insisted she go to the office. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts, but I didn’t need to screw her life up just because mine was going off the rails. While she showered, I buried my face in a pillow and tried to get a bit more sleep.

I woke up to Marley curling her eyelashes in front of her bedroom mirror. “Are you hungry?” She turned and looked at me hopefully. “I can make whatever you want before I go.” 

I shook my head, staring at the ceiling. The day before, my life had been completely on track. How was anything going to go back to normal?


Marley’s phone buzzed for the millionth time, and she gave the screen a cursory look. “Um, Tessa?” She glanced up at me nervously. “Grant’s downstairs.”

63 comments:

  1. Best post yet! Bravo!

    http://coupledomage.wordpress.com/

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  2. I heart hurt just reading this. I feel for this girl!

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  3. Great post but I'm disappointed that you had to go the cheating route like every other blog. One of the best things about this blog was that Tessa and Grant were in a long term committed relationship. It made your story different. Yes it was wrong for Grant to have sexual relations with another woman but it seems like he felt neglected. Tessa was to consumed with work and life to make time for him. She even admitted to canceling dates and bailing on him, not even asking about his big thing at work. What Grant did is wrong but Tessa wasn't exactly the doting girlfriend either.

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    Replies
    1. if she sucked as a girlfriend he should have dumped her not hooked up with someone else.

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    2. I agree with you. I was hoping this would be a blog about people in a committed relationship where one of them didn't stray. I'm not saying Grant should have done what he did, but she also shouldn't have been pushing him to the side all the time. I'm hoping they work things out.

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    3. I kind of see where Zahra is going with this. They might still work it out. It doesn't seem like Tessa's completely done. Maybe we'll get to see Grant win her back? If you like the couple theme check out my blog As Told by Amelia at http://coupledomage.wordpress.com/

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    4. But the sad thing is that's the truth... Do any of you DON'T know a single person who has been cheated on? :(

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    5. ^ and I don't mean that everyone gets cheated on but simply I know of quite a few couples that have been through that, and probably everyone knows of someone, the world is sick :(

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  4. Man, I really hoped this blog wasn't going to be like this. I thought it was going to be about them as a couple.

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  5. I. Love. This. Great writing!

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  6. I havent read any other blog where cheating is a huge part of the plot, and in all honesty this is realistic. Blaming Tessa for being busy is so pathetic, and frankly an insult to working women everywhere. All Grant had to do was communicate his feelings instead of hooking up with someone else. And I love the Greek reference!! Such a guilty pelasure of mine too lol.

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    1. You can't neglect your man or family because you have a job. It's not an insult to working women. If you're at work 24/7 and can't make time for anything but shirk then you're partially to blame. There has to be a balance. Most blogs has had a cheating storyline.

      Tragedy and the Twenty Something
      Minneapplegirl
      Life's Greatest Journey
      life by aleah

      How could Grant communicate his feelings when Tessa didn't have time for him. Not saying him cheating is justified, it isn't. However Tessa was unavailable and needs to realize she had a small role in making him feel unwanted.

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    2. Uh no, there is no partial blame. That's crap! He made the decision to cheat. If he was unhappy he should have ended things with her.

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  7. No!!!! I loved them together! It was so nice to finally have a blog with someone in a steady relationship! Made it unique! I hate to say it, but I really hope she can work things out with him...

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  8. I don't know why no one likes Tessa blog I think it's really good
    Yeah the New York thing is a cliche but other than that's it's good.

    http://takesilence.blogspot.com/?m=1

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  9. Yeah, blaming Tessa for being busy is definitely pathetic. In all fairness, though, Grant *had* been communicating his feelings about her chronic absenteeism; he'd been asking Tessa to talk to her boss about the fact that she has a life outside of work that needs more attention. It kind of sounds like he was coming to the realization that things weren't really going to change for at least a very long while; in the story, it's definitely communicated that Tessa's career course is going to be this consuming for quite a while if she's to get ahead. All that still doesn't justify cheating, of course. I'd probably break up with him just because I'd worry that he'd do it again the next time things weren't to his liking in our relationship. But, I do think Tessa took their time together for granted; she thought he'd always be there, no matter how alone he felt in their relationship. It's the same deal when the situations are reversed, though, and the woman is feeling totally neglected and taken for granted; some people are going to crack under that kind of pressure (especially when there doesn't seem to be an end in sight). Tessa was pretty self-absorbed (I'd say the same thing about a man and *his* career tunnel-vision), but it was totally gross what Grant resorted to. Cheating isn't ever ok. The breach of trust is just too serious to overcome most of the time. Plus, he has to *work* with this woman he was screwing around with...it's not like he can avoid her. How's that going to work?

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  10. Knew that was going to happen

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    Replies
    1. I didn't think it was going to happen so soon.

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    2. I thought he was going to die in a train or cab accident.

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    3. Same. I knew it from the first entry. Far too "too good to be true". The entire first entry I was waiting for her to catch him in the act. Really hoped I was wrong.

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  11. This made me hurt. I'd known something bad was going to happen between them. It was completely wrong of Grant, but I will admit I would like to see them try to work it out. That would make the storyline interesting and fresh, instead of the typical cheating then breakup then single girl on the prowl thing.

    Anyway, this post hit me like a train and I definitely feel heartbroken for Tessa.

    Highheelshappyhour.blogspot.com

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  12. This hurt my feelings and I'm not even on the relationship :(

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  13. Very well written. I think there's a disconnect because most of us aren't vested in these characters yet. They're okay but not very likable just yet. Maybe if we were more into Tessa then the cheating would've make a bigger impact. Grant had told her time and time again that she too consumed with work but she didn't push any attention or care. I'm curious how Tessa would feel if Grant was always busy with work and disregarded her concerns. She seems self absorbed and I'm not liking her. I feel sorry that Grant chatted on her and he was wrong to do that.

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  14. ..how did Grant know Tessa was at Marley's?

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    Replies
    1. A girl will usually go to her best friend in a time of need. It's not rocket science...

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    2. They're best friends. It makes sense. I'd go to my bestie's house if she lived that close and I was upset...and I'm sure my husband would try there first.

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    3. I love this blog!! Ignore the negative feedback, just write however you want to.
      Awesome!!
      Leo

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  15. Oh my god! I have goosebumps, this was so well written that I felt Tessa's pain. I love this!

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. You are kidding me? Nothing was offensive in the comment that was written. Why have a comments section if you don't want feedback? I would understand if comments were filled with hatred, but that is not what happened. Will you delete everyone who disagrees with a storyline??

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    2. When it says "this comment has been removed by the author," the author = you. I think you may have just accidentally deleted whatever it was! If my goal was to delete every comment that disagrees with a storyline or said something disparaging about me, I would be failing miserably.

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    3. Lol Jessica.

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  17. I was actually pissed off at Tessa.

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    Replies
    1. You were pissed off at Tessa?...For being cheated on? For not taking him back right away?

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    2. After how she just abandoned him while they had plans to look for a home together (and assuming that is indicative of other situations that had happened), I can understand where you're coming from. He should have kept it in his pants, but cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum usually. She isn't 100% blameless for the state of their relationship.

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  18. I love it! The writing perfectly conveyed the emotions of the characters in the post. I'm excited to see where this goes!! And please ignore the hate and negativity - it's easy to be nasty with the anonymity of the internet. I think you're doing a lovely job. I enjoy reading Tessa's story very much.

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  19. I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH! Dare I say, maybe more than Josie's! Keep them coming! My god, was this new author a great idea or what!

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  20. This. Is. The. Best.
    I'm a girl going through my own relationship troubles. Blogs like these remind me that I'm not the only one who's going through this and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. At least, it gives girls like me hope that if Tessa can get through it, then so can we. We look to idols for inspiration and a path to follow. Thank you for creating Tessa to be as human as possible. No one's life is perfect, but life can be alright without perfection and glam. That's what this blog reminds me of. :)

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    Replies
    1. A fictional character shouldn't be your idol. You need to find strength within yourself. Only you can make your own life path and the actions of a fictional character shouldn't be the determining factor. I'm sorry you have relationship issues.

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    2. Julie -- As a girl who went through a horrific breakup less than 6 months ago from the love of my life of five years (it came out of nowhere for me), I can absolutely tell you that there IS light at the end of the tunnel, and things DO get better; regardless of how you feel now. There were days I never thought I would make it through, but you do. Stay strong. :)

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    3. Awww Julie. The best way to make it through a painful situation is to not allow yourself to feel like you are alone. If we all looked around everyday at the situations and people around us (fictional or not), we would realize that there is a common thread through all human experiences and conditions. I'm glad that you found something that helps you realize that!!

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  21. There's no way you HAVEN'T experienced this personally from how well and accurately you wrote about it... it certainly brought up terrible memories for me!

    You're such a great writer, I'm emotionally invested in this blog 3 posts in haha!

    Dakota Barber
    www.stateandoccupation.com

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  22. Wow, i'm loving the style of writing so far! I honestly connected with every single sentence, and every single emotion Tessa was feeling. Having been cheated on before by someone I loved, it is refreshing to see someone write so openly about something that can be so painful. I really feel like Zahra captured the experience so perfectly, and I look forward to reading more!

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  23. Loved this post! I was "eh" before this post, and although I never caught my ex of five years cheating, he had emotionally cheated before, but I remember those feelings after we broke up: the anguish, the unrelenting pain, and having no where/one to go to; as he was he source of all my emotional comfort and intimacy. I really connected to this post -- awesome, Zahra!

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  24. Another great post in Tessa's story! I just hope more unravels to this plot line other than her simply taking Grant back and consistently thinking he is up to no good!

    sheerluckandpixiedust.blogspot.com

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  25. Love this!!! Please ignore the negativity about the blog being boring or whatever. I think your writing is superb. You really made me feel what Tessa was feeling and even brought up past emotions! Not sure if I want them to work it out or not yet. I definitely have mixed emotions. Grant seemed so nice, but cheating is just not okay. Ever. Can't wait to see what happens next week!

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  26. Love this blog! (Both stories btw.) Your writing's amazing and I can't wait for next week to see how she'll handle the situation, I'm so sad for her and it really is so scary that he acted like nothing had happened, which only makes everything worse. And what a load of bullshit about her not giving him attention, I get it but there's SO many things he could've done instead of cheating!! Thank you for another great post <3

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  27. Such good writing! We've all had that sinking feeling where you're physically shaking, and the author captured it perfectly. That said, I read this over lunch and can't say it was an enjoyable post since it dredged up old feelings. But excellent writing, absolutely. If this were real life I would hope tessa would dump grant, but for the sake of the story I hope they work this through.

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  28. Women can never put up with rejection. That is a fact for sure.

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  29. Wow. That post gave me goosebumps. It was so emotional reading about tessas grief, so real!
    As someone who has been cheated on by a long term, serious bf, I have to say that you perfectly described the emotions that you go through.
    Great post!

    http://lovelifela.wordpress.com

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  30. Does anyone else feel like he subconsciously wanted her to find the text messages? Who in their right mind wouldn't immediately delete texts that proved you cheated unless you hoped, even without realizing it, that you wanted your partner to see them.

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    1. Yeah, the thought crossed my mind also. He probably felt *very* guilt-ridden; this combined with our subconscious is like a match to gasoline. The majority of cheaters *do* realize it's wrong, feel guilty, and find ways to both punish themselves, as well as try to relieve the burden of secrecy through exposure.

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  31. Love the story so far! I don't read blogs outside of this one so the story line is new to me. Honestly, I knew the relationship was too good to be true, but I thought he was just gonna get killed off. I'm excited to see where this story goes!!

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  32. Personally, I have never truly been cheated on. I have watched it happen to the best friends and experienced it with them, but never felt it myself. This, was real. I FELT it. It felt so real to me even though I've never experienced it.

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  33. Can you stop switching back and forth between story lines; it is confusing. Tessa just get your own blog please. Your story is fine but I came here for LSP and Elizabeth.

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    1. Tessa blog is written by one of Jessica's friends. Posting here guarantees an immediate large following. Unlike other blogs that are new and have to draw traders in, Tessa's story automatically got all of Jessica's readers. It's a good idea when you think about it. Maybe exposure for a be writer.

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    2. What is so confusing about it? They're just alternating. Tuesdays are Elizabeth and Thursday are Tessa. Pretty simple.

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    3. Oops the other way around Tuesdays are Tessa while Thursdays are Elizabeth!

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    4. I think it's a valid concern in that i agree it would be helpful for at least the format or layout of LSP to be changed, in order to accommodate readers following one plotline or at least for organizational purposes. Despite the alternating, it can be confusing (or at least more work than you bargained for) to try to keep them straight and follow only one if you aren't checking in on those exact days.

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    5. i agree, at least create separate tabs for each story out maybe zahra create her own blog with Tess's story

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  34. She is partially to blame you can't neglect your significant other male or female. When someone is neglected and they get a little attention it goes a long way.

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    onları esgeçmeyelim. Her kullanıcı mutlaka kaliteli sex filmi izlemek istiyor. Donmadan hızlı açılan sex videoları
    tatmin edebilecek düzeyde olması beklentisi var herkezde. Bir kısım kullanıcı da türk türbanlı pornolar olsun liseli pornolar olsun
    bunların yanında liseli amcık resimleride arıyorlar. Porno izle ve Porno sikiş kelimeleride çok aranan kelimelerden Porno dünyasında zevkler sınır tanımıyor özellikle türkçe porno film izleyicileri
    götten sikiş pornoları arıyor. E o kadar Porno zevkine sikişenler sizce nasıl bir fanteziye bürünsün ki.
    Tüm kullanıcılar bunlardan ziyade bilinmeyen pornoları yani x porno arayışında. Bilinen videoların sanki hepsini izledik tükettik bunlar kaldı birde değil mi.

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