June 5, 2014

It's a Date

I am very glad I thought to ask William what I should wear to the CWA party to unveil our new film financing department, otherwise I would have shown up in my standby Theory pencil skirt purchased from a Rue La La Final Sale event and my dorky ballet slippers infused with Nike "cushion" technology. Before I came out to L.A., trainees received an email advising us to pack comfortable shoes. Trying to be helpful, Nance emailed me a link to the most geriatric pair of flats I've ever seen. "Mom, I want to have sex sometime in the next century," I'd emailed her back, inserting the eye-rolling smiley face. After a week, I'd placed a rush order for two pairs. They are hiddy, but god damn they feel like little pillows under my feet, which I am always on. L.A. is slowly turning me into a woolly, sexless beast—I haven't been waxed, highlighted, or worn hooker heels in three months. It is stage five no-fly zone down there right about now.

I asked William what the dress was the day before the party, and he informed me that it was a black tie optional event. When he saw my panicked face, he picked up the phone like he was Barney Thompson, manager of the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Pretty Woman, and called one of the branding agents who works with Rachel Zoe. Within twenty-four hours, four dresses were shipped to my CWA dorm. I'd gone with the vintage Missoni—when you haven't been able to work out in three months, stretch fabric is your dearest friend.

The next day, I walked into the Roosevelt Hotel feeling semi-normal, energized even! I looked halfway decent and I'd gotten six hours of sleep the night before, which is a rarity for me these days.

Howie was the first person I saw when I walked in the room. "Josie?" She put her hand over her heart. "Is that you?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. I can't believe I ever thought Howie and I would be friends. She is the most sanctimonious know-it-all I've ever met. It's like she's competing with me, but I don't know for what. Her boss loves her, we're not even in the same department, and there's more than enough room for the both of us.

"Vintage Missoni helps," I said. I flicked my eyes over her basic black dress. "Is that Anne Taylor? I think my mom has it." (I high-fived myself in my head.)

Howie pursed her lips. "DVF." 

I smiled. "Cute."

Howie turned on her heel to go but stopped when Peter approached us, looking crushingly handsome in his sharply tailored suit. "It's the man of the hour!" she beamed, and I rolled my eyes so hard that for a second I thought they'd gotten stuck in the back of my head. Howie always turns it on whenever Peter is around, as does almost every woman in the office (and plenty of the men too). Peter is nice to everybody, and I think most people interpret his warmth for romantic interest. I've made the mistake myself a few times in the past. I don't know if it's because I loathe Howie, or if it was because I was remembering our kiss on my back patio the other night, but jealousy stretched my chest wide.

"Someone tell William that," Peter quipped, nodding in the direction of William, who was holding court at his table like King James or something.

"God, he is grotesque," Howie said, slicing a sideways glance at me.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," I said. "He's an acquired taste. I've acquired it."

Howie laughed rudely. "Josie, please, this is a family event."

Peter laughed politely and Howie shot me a victorious look. It didn't last though, because Peter stepped in closer to me and said, "Howie, do you mind if I have a moment with Josie?"

Howie looked from me to Peter and back to me again. She'd asked me once what my deal with Peter was. "You have like a massive crush on him," she'd added, "it's so obvious." You don't even know the half of it, I wanted to say. But I didn't dare divulge details about my personal life to her.

"Sure." She bared her teeth at us. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

Peter and I both waited until she was a safe enough distance away before we said anything. "So," we began at the same time, then laughed at ourselves.

"You first," Peter said.

I took a deep breath. It had been four days since that night in my apartment, and I'd had some time to digest not only what had happened between us, but also the news about Richard moving to San Francisco. I'd almost emailed him a few times since Nina and Ashley returned to New York. "Were you going to tell me?" read one. Another simply read, "I wish I'd never met you." I'd deleted it, hot, angry tears streaming down my face.

I just felt so pathetic being the one to email him, after he had broken up with me. And then I got angry about being made to feel pathetic, angry that I still cared about him. Richard had pursued me, convinced me to give him a chance, and then I did and fell totally in love with him and he bailed on me. When I was at a major crossroads and needed his support no less. I recognize that he's also dealing with a stressful situation of his own, what with the serious charges against his mother, his father cutting him off, and his own career reckoning, but I would have been there for him if he had just let me. Now he's moving to the west coast at the same time I'm moving back to the east coast, and he doesn't even have the courtesy to let me know? Why should I have to be the one to email him? Not doing it, I decided, once and for all. 

Then, I started thinking about Peter. For a while, my big issue with Peter was this feeling that he didn't believe in me, and that he resented my newfound independence. I worried that he only dated younger girls because he liked the feeling of being in control, especially after Elizabeth put him through the ringer the way she did. I think Peter believes, and probably on a subconscious level, that he can't be hurt if he dates someone who defers to him, rather than challenges him, or is even an equal to him. 

But what he said to me the other night has really stuck with me. He admitted he was wrong about suggesting that I might not be cut out for a demanding job like this. Maybe my little psychoanalysis is totally off? Maybe he really was just concerned about me getting in over my head, or maybe he's changed his tune? In any case, Peter sees me for who I am now, and he seems to accept me. 

And also, he's Peter. Right then, with him looking down at me, the ballroom spotlight catching in three distinct, esteemed lines across his tan forehead (the bastard probably had time to go hiking or something), I wanted to believe that was the case. 

"Okay," I laughed, "I'll go first." I sighed. Tried to find my words. "I've just been, um, thinking. About you."

One side of Peter's mouth picked up. "I have too."

I laughed a little and looked around the room. "So, what now? What do we do?"

Peter reached out, and for a second, I thought he was going to kiss me again. But he just rested one hand against the wall, boxing me in to the corner, and said, "I think we should go on a date."

"A date?" I repeated.

Peter nodded. "A date."

My heart was thudding in my chest and it felt like the whole room was just one golden blur. "I really want to," I said. "But I work too late to go on a date."

Peter straightened up and gave me a devastating smile before walking away. Over his shoulder, he called, "I'll pick you up tomorrow at midnight."

I guess I should probably get a wax.

43 comments:

  1. Howie is awful and Go Josie for putting her in her place. Depending on the DVF, it can sometimes look like Anne Taylor:) I am so excited for a Peter date. Seriously though Josie, don't cry over Richard. The boy sucks, he always sucked and he will always suck.

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  2. Well hello, there's the reason Howie is "competing" with you: PETER!

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    1. Let Howie have him...she can be Elizabitch the 2nd.

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  3. Gosh, I didn't even think it was possible for me to hate Richard more, but I do. I hate him even more now knowing that he's making Josie cry and feel pathetic. I don't think that boy is ever going to redeem himself. He's just done too many things to just forgive him for. On the other hand, I am SOOOOO happy Peter and Josie are going on a date!!! Josie needs a man in a life, not a boy that she has to constantly worry about and look after like a 5-year old. Love Peter!! Can't wait to read about their date!

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  4. I like Peter and I like Richard. They're the yin and yang of the perfect man for Josie. Too bad they can't be combined into one person. Looking forward to hearing about a date with Richard. Josie can suck it.

    Amy

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  5. Anyone else picture William exactly as the raunchy lawyer runkle from californication?

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    1. No...more like someone heavier and grubbier and certainly less hot than Evan Handler.

      More like....Philip Seymour Hoffman.

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    2. definitely picture him as Hoffman.

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    3. LOL! I always picture him as Hoffman! That's so funny!

      http://lovelifela.wordpress.com

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  7. I have been all about Peter ever since they met in that martini line at the gala thing when J was working for Bill, or whatever his name was. Peter is my fave version of the Mr. Big trope, kinda makes me want to start another SATC binge watching session. And to comment on the whole team P or Team R thing, we should have shirts made btw, both are pretty even on the "shit they have done to Josie" level. Peter most likely cheated on Josie way back when and tried to put her into a little bobble-headed twenty-something box. Even though that was roughly two years ago and both have done some maturing since then, it was still pretty shitty of him. I feel like what sucks the most in Richard's story line is that he has no stability anywhere, even with Josie. Richard always felt as if something better would come and draw her away from him. He could have been trying to do a selfless act by leaving her, but it ended up being really selfish. Its really bad timing for Richard but really good timing for Peter. I think Jessica has put Josie in a good place to sign off on. Josie has over come that really rocky entrance to building a career, and now her personal life can compete with the importance of her working life. Peter just got lucky that Richard decided to leave when he did. Btw, what kind of dates happen at midnight Jessica??

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    1. Chris - @nylonlover69 on TwitterJune 5, 2014 at 3:29 PM

      "We should have shirts made...", now THAT's funny!

      As for the rest of this post... I understand that just looking at Peter makes Josie get wet panties, but I just can't stand him. That's not to say that I'm team Richard, I just don't get how out of a city of 7 million people, she couldn't get farther away from Peter and move on with her life.

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    2. Excellent points, Chris and Anonymous just above...

      Also, it's too bad Josie hasn't had time to enjoy LA...There's lots of fun to be had there if you can get away from the rat race...

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  8. First time I've posted. Please don't let her end up with peter!! I love Richard!! But great post Jessica always find all your great can't wait for the book xx

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  9. I still think that the break up with Richard was a good idea, it was a selfless act on richard's part. She keeps saying how she hasn't had time for much in the past 3 months, how was a long distance relationship supposed to survive that? Richard feels that he is not good enough for Josie so he let her go and is working on trying to be a better man for her, of course there's the risk that she might find someone else, but I really do hope Josie comes back to him. I like peter but there's something about Richard that makes me be on his team.

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  10. i have not been following josie's story for too long so i don't know all the "bad" about peter. but i was there for richard and josie's story and sign me up for team peter please!!

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    1. I never thought Peter was bad. He is redeemable and has SO MUCH love for Josie and is so hot. I feel as though anyone who is 'Team Richard' is actually just of the mindset that horrible juvenile drama=true love forever... Like in junior high. Richard reminds me of a junior high girl. Peter is sexy and intelligent and independent and all the good things.

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  11. Echhhhhhh! Peter just GROSSES ME OUT! Oh, NOW he'll acknowledge Josie as an equal...DOUCHEBAG! DO NOT EVEN START prattling about how he's so Big from SATC...not even close, Bud! Josie is no Carrie either---thank Gawd!

    I'm still holding out hope for a Richard Redemption.

    Still and all, well done, Jessica!

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  12. I love that a date = the need for a wax. She has high expectations :-)

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  13. I LOVED THIS POST!!!!!! Everything about it!!!!!! PUH-LEASE end it with Peter and Josie together, they have been through SO MUCH together and I feel like Josie is at a point in her life where she has worked so hard for her career and she needs to be with someone who also has it together and can/will/wants to let her do what she's worked so hard for. I don't doubt that Richard had feelings for her, but he is trying to figure out his own life and while that's okay, I WILL scream if there is an ending post of Josie giving up everything to go to San Francisco and work on her own to be with Richard. They made AMAZING friends, and they could conceivably stay that way. I just think that she has busted her ass for so long, it would be so nice to see her story end with Peter, proud of her, respecting her, and ready to put a ring on it.

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  14. Love this! I hope Peter and Josie realize they are good together!!

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  15. I still say end it with Peter losing all of his money to a Vegas hooker after a drunken weekend spent drowning his sorrows after screwing up royally with Josie AGAIN and watching her sail off into her rainbow-colored future which may or may not include a man.

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  16. Don't think people should be so hard on Richard. Yes he did very dumb things and yes he could be jerk, but honestly think his heart was in the right place when he broke up with Josie. He wasn't abandoning her. He just thought he didn't deserve her, which is very sad. Also, like I love the whole Big and Carrie thing Josie and Peter have got going, but I don't think he's for her. Richard's the one.

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    1. I don't think Richard broke up with Josie for her, I think he did it for him. He is inherently selfish and did not seem the type of guy to invest in a long distance relationship, especially one that would be difficult knowing the schedule Josie would have to keep. He is too needy and only does things on his own timeline and for his own agenda. Josie needs to finally become the woman she wants to be and she just cannot do that with Richard. At all.

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  17. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE Peter and just want Josie to be with him forever!! I was never for Richard and think that Peter and Josie belong together. I have been waiting so long for this- I hope it works out!! At this point I would pretty much pay you to make it happen. :|

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  18. PETER. PETER. PETER.

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    1. PETER. EATER. PETER. EATER...

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  19. Yesssss! I LOVED Peter. Forget Richard, he clearly is not man enough to even tell her that he's moving to San Fran. Can't wait for Tuesday!

    http://tragedytwentysomething.blogspot.com/

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  20. I will forever be team Peter!

    Surprisinglytheothergirl.blogspot.com

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  21. Honestly, I've always thought Richard had some MAJOR growing up to do before he could be in a serious and committed relationship. And while I don't think Peter is without his own faults he owns up to them eventually; sometimes because of a Josie confrontation but at the very least he admits to them.

    Also, lest we forget that at one point Josie put an end to things with Peter because she wasn't ready to get serious and wanted to focus on her career. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that as I thought it was a mature, responsible and powerful decision on her part, BUT the back and forth between Josie and Peter is not one sided. That being said, I feel like Josie and Peter may finally be reaching that perfect timing in which both want the same thing—each other being the most obvious.

    And whether Josie ends up reconciling with Richard (shudder), ending up with Peter (yay!) or doesn't choose either so she can focus on herself (HUZZAH!), I'm incredibly happy for her. I've been reading this blog from the start and I can see the growth she's had which isn't unlike most 20-somethings I know (myself included).

    Bravo Jessica! I know this isn't yet your last post but thank you so much for sharing Josie's story. It's been one, long and thoroughly exciting ride!

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  22. Richard Richard Richard!!!

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  23. I don't care who she ends up with. She has her career as her number 1 priority right now. She needs to let off some stress and who better to do that with than Peter. Get that wax!! mum

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  24. God i love the twists and turns of this story :) Cant wait for the next post!!

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  25. I'm praying that this all ends with Richard proposing to Josie. I have loved him since day 1. Even when he was pretty sketchy, I was still cheering for him.
    I do, however, hope that Josie & Peter hook up one more time before the end. I think it will be great closure for them!
    Howie is a bitch. Just downright rude. Hopefully Josie decks her soon!
    Great job, Jess! I love this post!

    http://lovelifela.wordpress.com

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  26. Team Peter!
    And dying over the Anne Taylor remark. Omg!! LOL

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