January 28, 2014

Stand Down

I took in Richard on my couch, his bare feet and the scruff shadowing his face. He doesn't have a key, so he clearly never even left my apartment. "I have maybe two minutes."

Richard laced his hands behind his head and sighed. "Ad Back folded."

"What?" I gasped. Ad Back is the company that hired Richard after he was let go from Literatti.

Richard nodded. "It was pretty bad. One of the founders—he invested his entire 401K in that company."

"But this didn't happen today." I folded my arms across my chest. "When?"

"Last week."

"Last week?" I repeated, incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me? How could you just pretend like you were going to work today?"

Richard pointed to his laptop. His resume filled the screen. "I have two interviews this week. I guess I wanted to wait until I had some sort of lead so I didn't sound like a lost cause or something."

I went over the last few days in my mind, trying to remember what we did. "Richard, you dropped over two hundred dollars at L'Artusi on Saturday night. Why would you do that if you're out of a job?"

Richard closed his laptop and placed it on the coffee table. "I have some money put away."

"How?" Before he could answer, I held up my hands. "You know what? I can't get into this right now. I have to get back to work." I made my way into my bedroom and found my passport in my sock drawer. I half expected to hear Richard's footsteps behind me, but he didn't follow me.

Richard was lacing up his shoes when I came out into the hallway. "I'm not kicking you out," I said.

"I know," Richard said, "but I shouldn't be here. It was just gross out and I thought I'd do a little work here until the snow let up." He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Don't be mad, okay? I'll explain everything later. Still meeting at Eataly?"

I stuffed my passport into my purse and zipped up my coat. "Yeah, okay."

I didn't even have time to think about Richard for the rest of the day. When I got back to the office, I grabbed a Kind bar from the cafeteria and met William in the conference room for a meeting with some of the agents in the LA office (via Skype)."You'll find we have a lot of meetings in the afternoon," he said, "since LA is three hours behind."

William wasn't just blowing smoke up my ass when he said CWA prides itself on being a collaborative environment. Even though William and I are in Lit, we connected with at least three other departments through out the day. Literatti was very insular—no one wanted to share information, everyone wanted to be the hero. CWA feels more like a team working for the same goal: Brand our client across the board.

It was almost 7PM by the time I got back to my desk and read the text from Richard. "Will you be mad if I take a rain check tonight?"

I frowned at the screen, considering how to answer him. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," he said. "Just need some me time."

Well, that hurt a little. I wrote back a perfunctory, "No problem."

I gathered my things and said good night to William. Outside the street was sloppy with slush, the cold the kind that knocks the wind out of you. I didn't even realize I'd headed for the 1 train until I was waiting on the platform. The entire ride to Richard's apartment, I dissected the conversation we'd had that morning. Nothing incendiary was said, so why was he suddenly shutting down on me?

Someone was walking into Richard's building at the same time I was, so at least I was able to avoid an awkward buzz in situation. I paused outside of Richard's door, wondering what exactly I was there to say. Before I lost my nerve, I knocked.

Richard's footsteps sounded closer, and he released the lock with a sharp click. The door swung open."What are you doing here, Josie?"

I shrugged. "I want to talk, I guess."

Richard turned and disappeared into his living room, leaving the door gaping open behind him. I followed him inside. "Richard, what is going on?"

Richard drove his fingers through his hair and groaned. "This is what you were warning me about, right? How if we ever hook up you'll just infiltrate my life and make me hate you?"

I blinked, trying not to cry. "I know you're just trying to hurt me so I'll go away," I said. "I'm not falling for it."

Richard laughed, meanly. "Whatever you want to tell yourself, Josie." He flopped on his futon. Richard's apartment was small and old, the grime ground into the corners, years deep. I had the same problem—no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't lift the stains packed into the crevices of my kitchen. Still, this place was located in the heart of the Upper West Side, and it must have cost $1800 a month.

"I don't understand what happened," I said. "Everything was fine when we left each other and now you're completely changed."

"Jesus Christ, Josie. I haven't completely changed." Richard kicked his feet up on the coffee table. "Way to be melodramatic."

"Listen to yourself," I cried. "Listen to how hostile you sound. You're telling me nothing's changed?"

Richard sighed. "I really don't feel like doing this."

"What does that mean?"

Richard answered me by climbing to his feet, brushing past me and pulling the door open. "It means you need to go."

I wiped my face. "Are you serious right now?"

"Deadly fucking serious, Josie." Richard's jaw tightened.

"Wow," I said, quietly. I stuffed my hands into my gloves and shook my head in disbelief. I was all set to storm past him, but at the door I stopped, struck by the urge to try again. "Whatever it is, Richard, you can tell me."

Richard brought his chin to his chest and exhaled, shakily. When he looked up at me, I was shocked to see he had tears in his eyes. "Can't."

The entire hallway rattled with the force of the door slamming behind me.



83 comments:

  1. Oh my f**king goodness. What is going on?????

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  2. My first thought was that the ex is PG, but that's too obvious, right? Maybe he just feels like a super loser next to her and can't handle it. mum

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  3. I think Richard has proven YET again he can't be trusted and isn't into a "real" relationship. Hope Josie gets sent out to LA ASAP so she can clear her head about all these NYC guys....

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    1. I was reading your blog & for some reason it's now blocked.. it says something changed in the websites proxy filter.?? No idea what that means... I hope I can continue reading soon!!

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    2. Really? I switched the site from www.minneapplegirl.wordpress.com to www.minneapplegirl.com last night. But both should still work! Try them and let me know if it still happens!

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    3. It works for me !!! :)

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  4. What the actual fuck? This blog stresses me out...

    I think Richard has some family money & doesn't care all that much about working. But to say that to Josie would sound WAY flaky. Not that what he's doing instead is better.

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    1. I agree with the family money thing

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  5. What the? There's gotta be something acceptable behind Richard's actions! I like him too much!!!

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  6. It was probably his money he put into the company or his families money. I dont like him he is a loser!

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  7. Woooahhhh what the heck is going on with Richard? Before people start saying 'SEE?!!' about him, why don't we figure out why he's reacting this way. It's clearly not something Josie did - I think she just accidentally ignited some insecurity in him, it's not something personal. I think he's struggling with something and his automatic reaction is to lash out. He and Josie have been doing so well until now.. I'm sure they can get through this (after Richard does some groveling)

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    1. She needs to stop defending dbags and find a real man- not a temperamental unemployed man child. Pretty sure that on top of being a dbag he's displaying emotional abuse that will only escalate if she sticks it out

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    2. Woah reply anonymous you're harsh "temperamental unemployed man child", is that really necessary?
      Something is clearly going on, I find that Josie (and me at time) try to help but it comes off as need and pushy, and once you push some men they react in a hostile manner. Not everything needs to involve Josie, or be about her, being unemployed especially in this economy is such a burden even if he does have family money. Key word family.

      I love how his character is evolving away from Josie, not only having to be about her because they're dating

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    3. Yes it necessary because if something is going on, say so. Richard is 29 years old. He is not evolving he is hiding out in her place and lying.

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    4. Woah. Not telling the truth to your dear ones equate to lying?! That's pretty harsh don't you think?

      Richard was laid off like for a week? Guess he needs some time to realize that FOR himself first then to go 'crying to Josie about it. And his pride is probably bruised with Josie appearing at home so suddenly. Which may explains the nasty attitude when Josie went to his place after.. this guy has a big ego

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    5. Do we as women think we are the only people with feelings who deserve to act out? He is being a jerk but as he was about to cry there are obviously deeper things going on and has been for sometime. The lack of family, the hard time keeping connections and relationships the self sabotage.

      He has proven that he cares for her but obviously he doesn't have much practice in the area so he is trying. Every person has his or her issues. I dont know what kind of glass house or shallow people you get to date who lack problems or issues.

      He might be the biggest Dbag ever. But the sweetest guys in this entire blog turned out to be the most untrustworthy.

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    6. How? How has he proven that he cares for her?

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    7. 1) Saying 'I love you' first, without needing prompting or pushing
      2) Going to see her family at Christmas even though he was hesitant
      3) Being supportive of her new job, even though his situation is up in the air

      She kind of intruded on his space when he said he needed time alone. I don't necessarily blame him for getting defensive or feeling intruded upon (though he went a bit far here).

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    8. I am not certain he meant those things. First they haven't even been seeing each other a month. That's a bit soon since he just got out of a relationship with someone he also said he loved

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    9. Not to sound mean, but it's not really fair to ask for examples and then say 'I don't think that counts.'

      Also, they were friends for months beforehand - that can speed things up.

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  8. CRYING. What the hell Richard!!! You bastard, you can't just treat her that way! Ugh I am now so impatient for Thursday!

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  9. Soooo confused, but this is sooo good!!! Can't wait to see what you have planned with this whole Richard thing, even though I have no idea what is going on. I was never a big fan of him, but I figured I'd give his character a chance. But to be honest, I'm getting tired of giving him the benefit of the doubt.

    I really don't like the way he speaks to Josie sometimes. I get it, he's going through a hard situation, but he has a tendency to treat those around him very poorly when there's an issue or if something in his life doesn't go the way he wants, and I'm not sure how many times Josie will be able to handle that.

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  10. His dad probably died

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    1. Why wouldn't he just tell her that? I never liked richard. Arrogant asshole.

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  11. Richard was always a jerk, this is how he always acted. He has been a jerk since day one. I think that is who he is. I think the times in between him being a jerk are what is rare. Josie wants to paint Richard as mysterious and complicated but he is simply a jerk. I honestly don't care what he is hiding even if his dad died, he could act like a normal person and say my dad died, I need some space. Or I lost my job and it is taking me some time to find a new one. Homeboy is 29. In the fight that led to them sleeping together he was acting like a jerk and speaking to her terribly. The shocker to me is that this is completely obvious.

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    1. He did tell her he needed some space. He asked for a raincheck and said he wanted me time. SHE chose to go over and force the issue right then. We'll/she'll never know how he might have reacted if he'd had some time to think it over before talking to her.

      Clearly he has some privacy issues and she knows that. This can't be that much of a shock to her.

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    2. Yes he did say he needed some space, after he hid in her apartment, and lied about his employment. Notice, my I need some space came with some sort of explanation. And Josie showing up there is no excuse for him to act or speak that way. Yet, if she keeps going back for it, he will keep acting that way.

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    3. I'm not trying to excuse the way he reacted when she showed up at his apartment, but it was clearly a defense mechanism. Like something snapped in his brain when he was put in a position where he might have to deal with an ego hit by being honest with her. It will be interesting to see if he gives a sh*t about his reaction (and about Josie) or if he just completely shuts down and they are done.

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    4. I will agree with your defense mechanism thing, I guess my feelings for him have been colored by the way he has acted in the past. However considering that he hasn't been honest with her about the job and now whatever else is going on...I just don't know...

      I have never liked Richard, I think he is completely immature. But Josie seems like the type of girl that even when there is a glaring example that someone sucks choses to believe in them. IE. that guy that slept with her for a list, that she forgave two days later.

      To me there is nothing attractive about his personality and especially how he resorts to name calling whenever he's upset. But he has done this to her before, and clearly she is into it. I was always taught to judge guys be their actions not their words and Richard's actions usually suck.

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  13. Ughhh I'm so torn. I want to love him, but he really just comes off like quite a jerk.

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  14. Please please don't break josie and richard up jessica! I love how richard is,yes he may have made some bad decisions along the way but he is cute and nice,and I believe he really cares about josie...

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  15. Yeah, he asked for some space, but that's not a free pass for being cruel and hurtful. Josie does come off as kind of needy sometimes, but there'd be easy ways for any guy with average levels of consideration and respect for her feelings to deal with that...minus the sneering disdain and hostility. Even considering that he's got personal problems going on right now to magnify his natural (nasty) tendencies of verbal vomit, this guy will always be more trouble than he's worth. He's just too hard to communicate with.

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    1. I agree. Everyone has problems. He isn't the only person in the world with issues. Such a manchild.

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  16. Yeah, he asked for some space, but that's not a free pass for being cruel and hurtful. Josie does come off as kind of needy sometimes, but there'd be easy ways for any guy with average levels of consideration and respect for her feelings to deal with that...minus the sneering disdain and hostility. Even considering that he's got personal problems going on right now to magnify his natural (nasty) tendencies of verbal vomit, this guy will always be more trouble than he's worth. He's just too hard to communicate with.

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  17. Ahhh loved this post! Seriously can't wait for Thursday. And I still like Richard! It's like Blair and Chuck... I think you have to have some excitement, even if it hurts sometimes, to truly love someone. Fully support of Richard and whatever he's going through. And he makes for such an interesting character!

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  19. Shes moving up in her career ladder and poor richard doesnt seem to have a leg to stand on, he sounds extremely jealous and just cant say it to her, he cant expect her to not have a job and a career inorder to help him feel secury, pushing her away makes him feel safe obviously...
    Ps can we start having longer stories please, the suspense kills me lol

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  20. So in the heart of the storm when streets weren't plowed in Manhattan, thanks mayor diblasio, Josie walked blocks to the 1 train to go to see Richard and he is such as ass to her. Josie should have given him space like he asked but that doesn't justify his actions. Richard has always said mean, hurtful things to Josie and attempted to play it off as a joke. Life is difficult sometimes and you can't just lash out at someone whenever you feel. Josie needs to put her foot down and set parameters for what she will and will not put up with, regardless of his sob story.

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    1. Agreed. She needs to tell him that it's not okay to talk to her that way.

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  21. I love this blog, any suggestions to books similar to this type of story?

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    Replies
    1. Newyorkdixie.blogspot.com and Moderndayfaith.blogspot are both excellent blogs. (:

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    2. californiasoulblog at wordpress.com is pretty good too

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  22. Poor Josie. I have a bad temper so I often tell a girl (or anyone I care about) that I need some time in order to avoid being hurtful. She probably should have given him that space but he sure was snarky toward her.

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  23. In Richard's defence... He did want some space.
    I don't want to jump to "what a dick..." He's clearly got something major going on. I love them together too much to believe this can go bad!

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  24. I think either richard has family money, all signs seem to point to a trust fund baby that may have had a falling out with his family who has had a falling out with his family over some thing hence why he never talks about them and spends xmas alone mostly, Or perhaps he came into money as a compensation for being the victum of a tramatic crime where someone close to him died. Both of these options would explain why he has acted out and maybe why he doesnt like to have girlfriends because its to painful to talk about. more of a wounded bird than a jerk i think.

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  25. I think it's a possibility that he is from money and that his father wants him to come and help run the family business. And of course he doesn't want to which causes friction between him and his family (why he doesn't see them or want to talk to them). And every time he has a job fall through the pressure from his father to join him gets stronger. And his mother is caught in the middle (explains the Christmas morning phone call). He threw his fit at Josie due to the stress and he doesn't know how to let people in. He did ask for some alone time and she should have respected that.

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  26. Oh I hope they can work it out and everything will be ok.. I really liked them together!!

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  27. No, I still have faith in Richard. Something in his past must have really messed him up.

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  28. I liked them together... They should probably speak later. The job thingy came up a few post ago, when Josie accepted the offer.. Richard tried to react in a way that was acceptable? Josie needs to give Richard some space and time. They should talk later

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  29. What was that about? I won't argue that girls can be melodramatic but for a guy to "suddenly" act like that? *sigh..I wonder how it would be on Thursday..

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  30. This is ridiculous. Whenever Peter said something Josie didn't like, most of us jumped on the 'Peter is a douche' bandwagon. Now that Richard is showing his true colors, most people think he's just stressed and under pressure. So was Peter! He has Elizabeth's sh*t to deal with aswell as her father's. Richard is a total jerk and the way he talks down to Josie is so unbelievably condescending. Jessica is a great writer and I love Josie but I just can't help but feel that Richard isn't as great a catch as everyone else thinks he is. He spoke terribly of his ex when he ran into her; what will he say about Josie if they break up? Plus, he hasn't said 'I love you' since they had sex so basically he said it to get in her pants. Loser.

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    1. Whoever you are, THANK YOU! If Peter is a douche, I don't even know what Richard would be classified as. Peter never spoke this way to Josie, even when he was having a hard time and was upset. I completely agree with everything you said.

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    2. Peter was nothing but a gentleman to Josie. Richard is a little primadonna who needs an attitude readjustment.

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  31. I definitely think that Josie smothers her men sometimes. But that's no excuse for Richard to get his psycho bitch on. Can't wait for Thursday (or Friday morning since I'm in the southern hemisphere!)

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  32. Loved this post, and whatever it is I'm sure Richard is not so horrible as some people think! It's probably a legit reason! Cannot wait til Thursday! X

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  33. I bet one of his ex's is pregnant or something like that

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  34. I would KILL someone if I was very clearly going through something, asked them for space & they showed up at my door pretending to be some knight in shining armor to all my problems. That would be the quickest way to get kicked out of my life, then add DEMANDING answers... nah, brah. Don't think so.

    Also, to all of you STILL defending Peter... ya'll need to calm down. You're having like... separation anxiety for a fake person... it's okay to move FORWARD with a story...

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    1. That's hypocritical considering you are defending Richard, who, just in case you didn't realise, is also a fictional character.

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  35. Well, this is the first time I ever comment on a blog/article/anything other than facebook, although I follow this blog almost obsessively, and that's because I was a tad bit too irritated with the way Josie handled this, and all the sympathy she received as a result from readers.

    If you put yourself in the guy's shoes, he, 1) just lost his job for the 2nd time for reasons other than his own lack of competence, 2) has a new girlfriend who he seems to be in love with, and thus must feel pressured to impress, 3) said girlfriend just got offered an awesome new job, and 4) has some serious drama that no one knows about yet. He is actively looking for a job, and his girlfriend catches him on her couch at noon on a workday, he tells her honestly about his situation (and yes, many people in real life can hide things from loved ones until they find a way to deal with them, that's just the way they are)...and then she proceeds to make it all about her, not showing an ounce of empathy...to me, that's harsh, and i'd be pissed.

    THEN, when he doesn't even express dismay at her reaction and asks for a bit of space, she ambushes him demanding that he explain himself, while all the verbal and non-verbal cues are telling her that it's not a good time, then when he acts bitchy as expected, it becomes all about her all over again.

    Now take away Josie and Richard and put any two other people in this situation, and it would still be wrong of her to act this way, especially if she knows she's got a peculiar guy on her hands and willingly accepted to be with him. He was definitely wrong to treat her this way, yet, she completely disregarded whatever he was going through, and hasn't provided the teensiest bit of comfort when he needed it at her apartment.

    It's gonna be really interesting to see how this plays out! You're doing a great job Jessica, much love from Cairo, Egypt :)

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  36. I think that he is the investor and just lost all his 401K and family money. He doesn't know how to tell Josie and I assume that he feels "inferior" to her new job status and her moving up the work ladder so fast. She is younger then him and I think men always deep down inside feel crappy if the girlfriend or wife makes more or has a better job...especially if it's in the same field. I know I always feel like crap that I don't make enough and my other half makes more, and I am a woman. Guys have that complex to be the breadwinner in the family and the need to support. I like Richard and I don't want him to be such a d-bag to Josie. I don't think she should have gone over to his house after he told her he needed "me" time and that prob just added fuel to the fire of his crappy feelings of not being able to figure out what to say to her, and be able to digest the fact that she caught him in a lie.

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  37. JESSICA! I'm intrigued to know how do you organise all your ideas for this blog? Do you use a timeline to track things in Josie's life which you can refer to? This blog is the best out and I just adore your writing.

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  38. Some people are really harsh on Richard. I suspect there may be some projection from past bad experiences going on here. I think he is still a good guy, I mean, they've been friends for awhile. If he was such a bad person why was Josie even friends with him? Sometimes the overly nice guys are the worst, which I think we've seen in this blog time and time again. I know I learned the hard way about working with overly nice investors in my line of work. They end up being the most sinister when things don't go their way. No one is nice and happy all the time. Also, Josie was a bit of a pain on more than one occasion, first with the phone freak-out when he was talking to his mom and next when they ran into his ex. I have a hard time being patient when a girlfriend jumps to conclusions like his did, I think he kept his cool pretty well in both instances.

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    1. I think that we are just looking at how he behaves.

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  39. The thing that bothers me the most about Richard is that he resorts to being really mean and nasty whenever he either doesn't get his way, gets disappointed, or stressed out. That is just not OK! Yes, Josie should have respected his space, but come on, he was hanging out in her apartment when she was at work and didn't tell her. He should be upfront with her and doesn't get a pass for bad behavior and meanness because she came to his apartment. There is something wrong with Josie accepting his abusive behavior both as a friend and lover. Most people I know would have cut off contact after the amount of mind and emotional games he plays. This is about Richard and Richard's problems, not Josie. She should run and run fast.

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  40. Jessica, your characterization of Richard is all over the place. When you first described him, I distinctly remember you saying he's the same age as Josie and on the shorter side. Yet in a later post you described him as tall and lanky and now he's 29. Even his personality feels all over the place, but I've been willing to sweep that under the rug since we're still getting to know him. But just so you know, consistency makes a good writer. Make up your mind.

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    1. Amazing the things people have the balls to type on the internet that you would never, EVER say to someone's face. (Hopefully, because it's completely rude.)

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  41. I agree Richard shouldn't have snapped but she didn't give him any space. I noticed things are all about Josie since Richard hasn't said much at all about himself or family and friends. Josie has a tendency to believe the worst about him ( remember the 'I love you' he said to his mom on Christmas ). Some guys don't want you handling their problems and is that really untypical of a man? He's had it rough lately and Josie (except for a deserved apology from Richard on being ugly to her) needs to give him some time. Maybe Josie could do a few nice things for him to brighten his day -drop off food, send a card or sweet text, or anything to lighten his load. I know she was floored by his job loss but is there ever a good way to find that out? She has helped her girlfriends. Now it's time to help her man.

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    1. I have to disagree. How has he had a "hard-time" lately? We don't know anything about him or what he does when he is not with Josie. Who knows if he is even telling her the truth about anything. Of course she is suspicious of him. His track record is pretty bad. He plays mind games with her and uses her as an emotional whipping post when he doesn't get his way. You could see the issues in previous posts. Josie bears only the responsibility of having the bad judgment of jumping into bed with him and thinking it is more than a passing thing with Richard.

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  42. We need some pizza up in here!

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  43. Replies
    1. I feel you. My daughter's nap ends around 2 each day, sometimes just late enough that I get this reading in but most often I swear she wakes the moment 2 hits. I keep looking at the clock saying "sleep for just 5 more minutes, please!!"

      Delete
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    onları esgeçmeyelim. Her kullanıcı mutlaka kaliteli sex filmi izlemek istiyor. Donmadan hızlı açılan sex videoları
    tatmin edebilecek düzeyde olması beklentisi var herkezde. Bir kısım kullanıcı da türk türbanlı pornolar olsun liseli pornolar olsun
    bunların yanında liseli amcık resimleride arıyorlar. Porno izle ve Porno sikiş kelimeleride çok aranan kelimelerden Porno dünyasında zevkler sınır tanımıyor özellikle türkçe porno film izleyicileri
    götten sikiş pornoları arıyor. E o kadar Porno zevkine sikişenler sizce nasıl bir fanteziye bürünsün ki.
    Tüm kullanıcılar bunlardan ziyade bilinmeyen pornoları yani x porno arayışında. Bilinen videoların sanki hepsini izledik tükettik bunlar kaldı birde değil mi.

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